Hands of Fate
by MadDoll
Summary: Ever since she was a young girl, Elena Gilbert has harbored a schoolgirl crush on her cousin's boyfriend, Damon Salvatore. But what happens when six years later she meets him again? Only to find out that he's her boyfriend's older brother? AU. All human.
1. A Bout of Nostalgia

**Authors note:  
>This is my first fanfic, so I hope it's not <strong>_**too**_** bad.**

**Warning though, there's lots of Stefan/Elena. And some content is still subject to change.**

**But anyways, Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Friday,<br>7:32 pm_

_Dear Diary,_

_Damon came over again. But, of course it was only because of Katherine. They're over there probably making out or whatever else they do when no one's around, while I'm here crying again, writing in my diary. How pitiful. It's not fair, it really isn't. I have to be stuck seeing his face over and over again, knowing that I can't have him. Knowing that I probably never will, but I still can't stop myself. It just hurts too darn much. I feel like a masochist. So cliché, but it's like that whole so close, yet so far shenanigan. But he loves her or at least likes her very much by the way he follows her around like some lost puppy, and I can't do anything about it. Heck, who doesn't love her? She's perfect. She's funny, beautiful, and she always wears the best clothes. Every guy wants to be with a girl like that. Why can't I be like that? Ugh, whatever. There's no use in feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm starting to live with it anyway. I know I'll never have him. He's twenty one for goodness sakes! He's already an adult, and I've barely ended middle school. I feel like a backwards pedo. Is there even a word for that? Another thing that hurts is how stupid Katherine keeps talking about him. And I'd be fine if she told me that she really likes him or something, but she just says how much she doesn't care. And how she has so much fun with Mason Lockwood when he's not there. How can he not see? If I was with him, I'll be the nicest girlfriend ever and I'll never cheat on him like Katherine does so many times. But I'm not his girlfriend. It's so ridiculous for me to even hope, yet I can't help myself from thinking about our conversations and I can't push myself to get over all the times that I've said the wrong things. I wish I was older, maybe then I'll have a chance. Or not, if Katherine's still in the picture. Of course he'll pick her. She's prettier, better, . Anyways, I think Uncle John just got home, so I have to go. Ugh, I'm just gonna pretend like I don't care. Like I always do._

_Love,  
>Elena.<em>

It had been years since she took the time to actually read through the entries that she had so furiously written on once-upon-a-time. It just seems so long ago now, even though it's only been what- six years? Elena continued to read on amusedly, letting the light from the attic window illuminate the pages of her diary as she sat cross legged in front of the open dusty box that held the remaining belongings that survived the fire. Every few minutes she let out a chuckle that reverberated off of the walls, making the room seem somehow more silent as the fond memory ended. She recalled that particular scene quite clearly, and her emotions during the time even clearer. It had been a happier time back then, Elena finally resolved to thinking. The words of a frustrated twelve year old may have painted a different picture but in truth, Elena would've probably given anything to go back and return to such blissful ignorance. It was a time when the only thing that filled Elena's mind where the multiple daydreams of the dashing Damon finally forgetting Katherine and realizing that she was the one girl for him. Elena giggled again as she read another entry.

_Wednesday,  
>3:41 a.m.<em>

_Dear Diary,_

_You won't believe what I just heard. Okay, I didn't really mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't help it! They were so loud, I'm surprised Uncle John didn't wake up. Well, anyways since my room is next to Katherine's I woke up hearing voices coming from her room. I tried to ignore it at first, and I was really sleepy so it wasn't really hard. But then I heard _his_ voice. He was really mad and I couldn't really hear well, but there was another guy voice too. I heard her call him Mason. They were fighting, I just know it. I know Mason comes to visit her at night sometimes, and I'm guessing Damon found out? Ah! Busted! I don't know why I'm so excited. It's such a scandal. I feel bad about being happy, but at the same time it's good that Damon knows now. He deserves better than someone who doesn't care about him. _

_Love, Elena._

_Sunday,  
>4:55 p.m.<em>

_Dear Diary,_

_Damon hasn't come at all lately. I'm scared. What if he leaves forever and I never got to talk to him? Or at least see him. I want to ask Katherine how she and Damon are, but I'm scared that she'll somehow find out I was eavesdropping. They couldn't have broken up, though. I mean they've been together for two years, you can't just break up like that. Can you? But, I don't even know. Why can't I just like guys my own age? Instead of wanting those who I can never get. You know? I don't even care about romantic stuff anymore. I just want to talk to him again like we always do whenever he's over and Katherine isn't home yet. I miss our drawing battles and when he helps me do backflips, and all the conversations. It feels like I'll never really be able to talk like that with anyone again. It's always so much fun when he's around._

_Love,  
>Elena. <em>

Elena was surprised to find an unexpected tear running down her cheek, signaling the return to reality. She wiped it away quickly, erasing the evidence of nostalgia on her face as she closed the relic of her childhood with a slam. She never did find out what happened to her childhood crush. But, there was no use in dwelling in the past anymore; it was time to face the future.

As if on cue, a voice called out from downstairs. "Elena! Are you almost done? I'm going to be late."

"Y-yeah! Hold on, let me just finish this real quick." After taking out the shirt she initially came for, tucked beneath the fairy lamp from the box, she rushed downstairs.

"I might not be home 'til later, okay? Coach Ric's been really pushing the team."

Elena gave him a small smile. "It's fine. I'm just going to be here. All alone in your big ol' house, sitting in your room, waiting for you to come back, just waiting, and waiting." Stefan laughed and gave her a peck on the lips. "…and waiting."

"I miss you already," he replied and with the shut of the front door, Elena was left alone with silence as her companion once again. She sighed and walked into the room she shared with her boyfriend of three months. It was as if a volcano of clothes exploded in the room, and Elena almost felt guilty. She was surprised Stefan still hasn't kicked her out, with all her mess contaminating his room. It had taken her a while to settle in. Jeremy had just been sent to rehab and Aunt Isobel practically growled at Elena to 'Get the fuck away from me!' when she attempted to apologize for him. Uncle John, of course rushed to say sorry on Isobel's behalf and had begged her to return to them, but it was too late. The painful words of her Aunt had cut deep, and Elena really didn't feel like she can deal with all the negativity that is sure to spew her way if she actually returned. Thank goodness, Stefan was there to save her like he always does. He was only too happy to help by opening up his home to her. It had been a huge internal debate for Elena even asking him for such a thing, considering they've only been together for such a short amount of time. But she was desperate. Elena shook her head to clear out the thoughts. No, she can't be sad now. It's going to be Stefan's birthday in a week and he at least deserves to see her back to her cheerful self, even if it _is_ just an illusion.

Elena spent most of the day in a similar fashion; clearing up some of her mess, while simultaneously trying to figure out the perfect birthday gift for the upcoming twenty year old. In fact, she had been so immersed within herself that it had caught her by sheer surprise when she felt Stefan's arms wrap around her waist from behind.

"I guess you weren't lying," he whispered in her ear. Elena turned around and gave him a chaste kiss.

"And when have I ever lied?"

"Oh, you know...that one time…"

"Uh, huh yeah. Keep talking." Elena laughed as she untangled herself from Stefan's embrace and returned to folding the clothes. "So how was practice?"

"It was hard, as usual. But it was alright, 'cause my brother called me." Stefan said as he sat on the bed next to Elena.

"The one from New York right?"

"Yup, Damon."

Elena internally laughed at the irony. She had just been reminiscing about her own childhood, Damon. "You have a brother named Damon? How weird."

"Why is that?"

"Nothing, really."

"Tell me," Stefan insisted, whilst jutting out his lower lip trying to make a baby face and failing ultimately.

"I will, as soon as you stop doing that." Elena laughed, throwing a pillow at his face. "Well, if you must know. I had a crush on a guy named Damon like years ago in 7th grade."

"Yeah? That's interesting, because I had a crush on this cute girl named Elena in the 7th grade."

"Pshh, you didn't even know me back then."

"Who said it was you?" Stefan grinned cheekily.

"Oh! Oh! My bad, sorry. I forgot your fetish for girls named Elena."

"Damn, right." Stefan said as he leaned in for another kiss. Elena dropped the shirt she was holding in order to turn her body to face him fully, as he continued to ravish her with his mouth. She didn't even feel Stefan's hand creeping underneath her shirt until she felt his rough fingers come in contact with the delicate skin of her breast. She pulled away.

"Not-not right now." Elena said breathily, her face flushed .

"What? Why not?" Stefan asked, reaching out for her again as she continued to deny him.

"I really, really have to fix this. Or else, I'm never going to."

"Clothes can wait." Stefan sat, obviously itching to touch her again by the way his hands moved up and down her side.

"No, no it can't." Elena set up her resolve to deny him tonight, in order to make his birthday night even sweeter.

Stefan moved in to nuzzle her neck. "Oh, come on… pretty please?"

"Sorry, Stefan," Elena laughed. "I need to get this done."

Stefan huffed and moved away from her as he shuffled to the bathroom with a resolute, "Fine."

Elena laughed to herself; he acted like such a big kid sometimes.

It took an unnecessary amount of time for Stefan to come out of his shower and join Elena at the dinner table. "So what about your brother again?"

"Oh, yeah he says he's coming here tomorrow in time for my birthday."

"Tomorrow? But we haven't even fixed a room for him, yet."

"Don't worry, he stays in that big room down the hall. It was his old one."

"Oh, okay. Good, less work for me." Elena replied, cutting a piece of her steak. "So what's he like?"

"I don't know. He's a lot of things. You'll find out when you meet him."

Elena nodded. "You think he'll like me?" she hesitantly added, whilst looking down on her plate.  
>Despite all of Stefan's reassurances that her stay with him had not caused him much trouble, Elena still felt like she was imposing.<p>

Stefan smiled, "Oh, I think he'll love you." As Stefan proceeded to talk about his day, Elena couldn't help her thoughts as it continued to revolve around _Damon_. Maybe it was just her excitement at finally meeting a member of Stefan's family.


	2. A Welcome Surprise

_Cockadoodle dooooo!_Elena rubbed her eyes in annoyance as she glared daggers at the unassuming clock which flashed 5:30 on its screen. She put the covers over her head, as its obnoxious ringing innocently pierced through the throbbing headache that she had somehow developed during the fitful night. For some odd reason, she couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried, thoughts kept running through her mind. She hated these nights, the moments of cold sweat and tossing and turning, trying desperately to fall asleep yet too sleepy to actually do anything productive in your insomnia. And on top of it, her body ached which was so often the case during times like these. In spite of everything however, she pushed herself off of the sanctuary of Stefan's arms in order to get ready for another tedious day at school.

"So how's Jer been doing?" Bonnie asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she leaned her head in, a concerned look gracing her features. The talk of the Gilberts' house burning down had spread, and it had been the subject of most of the murmurings around Mystic Falls High. Normally, Elena would have lied. She would have flat out told her that everything was fine, it was simply an automatic response to everyone's concern. Nobody truly cared anyway, they were just interested in gossip. However, Bonnie was her best friend who apparently had harbored a crush on her little brother as well, as she later found out.

"Well, they said that he's been feeling really guilty and he doesn't feel ready to face any of the family yet. They told us that we still shouldn't visit him for a few days."

"Gosh." Bonnie shook her head. "I still can't believe everything. How can we not have noticed?"

Elena felt the familiar pang of guilt hang on her shoulders, "I know. I should've known. I'm his sister, for goodness sakes. I could've…I could've—"

"No, Elena. Don't blame yourself. It was his choice." Elena fought to suppress the tears threatening to spill out. Bonnie hugged her best friend.

"I just…" Elena covered her face, her insides quivering in anticipation of the emotion that is sure to burst out with anymore discussion. No, she is not about to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria."Ne-Nevermind, I just – I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Bonnie decided to lighten the mood. "Well how are you and Stefan then?"

"Amazing," Elena said in a cheerful tone that sounded fake even to her own ears. "He's really great. He's even introducing me to his brother, who's staying with us for a while."

"Gosh, girl! You guys getting serious up in there." Elena pushed Bonnie jokingly as she let out a small chuckle. "It's weird how the world works isn't it? I still remember the Matt days."

"The Matt days?"

"Yeah! The Matt days. You guys were like the perfect couple. I think _I_ started crying when you guys broke up."

"Well, sometimes it's just not meant to be."

"Yeah, I just find it weird that he would be the one to introduce you to someone new, of all people."

"I guess fate just has a way of bringing people together," Elena said wistfully.

A moment passed before Bonnie burst out laughing. "You should be one of those greeting card writers."

"Shut up,"Elena said as the two continued chatting.

Elena was smiling as she entered the front door, still refreshed from her girl talk with Bonnie. If anyone had been capable of helping her _forget_ then it was her best friend. She then thought of Stefan, hoping that one day they'd reach a similar closeness. Maybe this living together thing would help them further connect. It was just utterly exhausting always trying to hide her tears and convincing him that everything's okay when it's so not. There were moments when he tried opening her up, but his probing questions only served to irritate her. All she could ever give him during those times was a mask of small, sad smiles and the automatic reply of "I'm just tired." Sometimes she could tell that he knew she was lying but she loved how he never pushed. He's giving her, her time.

The sound of the water running upstairs broke Elena's reverie. "Stefan?" Elena called out warily. He wasn't supposed to be home this early. "Stefan!" Still no response. She felt stupid calling out, 'Of course he's not gonna hear anyway.' Elena's mind went into overdrive. What if someone had snuck into the house? She quickly looked around for anything to use as a weapon and found one of the fireplace pokers to be sufficient. She grabbed it as stealthily as she possibly could and fumbled into her purse with the other hand in order to grab her cellphone as she dialed Stefan's number. The dial tone seemed to drone on forever that Elena hadn't even realized she was holding her breath until the sound of the voicemail broke through the phone's speaker. 'Dammit,' she thought. She had no way of finding out where he is. She dialed again, only to find the same outcome. She walked upstairs slowly, her knuckles white from her deadly grip on her weapon. 'Hey, maybe he just got home early,' she thought to herself hoping to calm some of her nerves down.

As she got to the top of the steps however, she realized that the sound was coming from Stefan's bedroom. She felt her whole body relax, the electricity in the air that grounded her slowly dissipating, as she walked inside and sat on the bed. Suddenly, a thought struck. She smiled to herself then, and thought of finally giving in to him. Stefan's been so kind, and she always just felt so bad turning him down. Plus, he'd probably be expecting her surprise on his birthday anyway, so why not _really_ surprise him now. Elena felt giddy with excitement as she dropped the fireplace poker and stripped off her jeans and t-shirt, silently making her way to the bathroom. The rush of steam welcomed her as she opened the door, attempting to be as quiet as possible. She covered her mouth, attempting to stifle her giggles. 'Oh, he's gonna love this,' she mischievously thought.

All of a sudden, the sound of a deep male voice, so unlike Stefan's made her freeze in her tracks."Hey, is anyone there?" the voice said from beyond the shower curtains. She stood dumbfounded, and most importantly _naked_.


	3. Introductions

**Thanks for all of the awesome reviews. :)**

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><p>"<em>Hey, is anyone there?" the voice said from beyond the shower curtains. She stood dumbfounded, and most importantly naked. <em>

She frantically made for the doorknob whilst attempting to cover her lady parts, but the slick floors proved to be an obstacle as her feet slipped. She ended up crashing on her bottom with a violent _slap_, letting out a shriek in the process. A head suddenly poked out from the side of the curtain followed by a loud, "HOLY SHIT!"

Elena clamored to get up just then, ignoring the pain as she rushed out of the bedroom grabbing her scattered clothes in a desperate attempt to flee the situation. She ran into one of the many rooms available and stood with her back against the door panting heavily. 'Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.' Her face felt like it was on fire and her ears were throbbing with every heartbeat. Her hands shook as she tried to shove her pants back on. A move made more difficult by the moisture of sweat coating her skin. "Fuck! That must be Stefan's brother! Oh my god, how did I forget he was coming?" she cursed inwardly. She took a moment to cool down and take a breather, but she still couldn't make herself leave the room for fear of facing her source of embarrassment. However, the low _thud_ of fist hitting the door forced her to. She took a quick look at herself in the mirror and patted her hair down to try to look at least presentable. With a deep inhale, she braced herself and opened the door. To her surprise, the man was still clad in nothing but a white towel riding low on his hips, water beads glistening on his porcelain skin. But what surprised her even more were his eyes. The shocking color of blue crystal pools so different from any pair of eyes she's ever seen before.

And that's when she knew.

_Damon. _

The man of her dreams. Literally. Standing in front of her. Dripping. Half-naked.

Unbelievable. There's no way it can _not_ be him.

She closed and opened her mouth multiple times, trying to come up with something to say but for the 3rd time that day she found herself frozen.

For a fraction of a second, she thought that she could see something flicker in his eyes too, until he grinned cockily. "I know the sight of my body is breathtaking, but I kind of need to get dressed." Elena still didn't understand what he was talking about until he continued. "You're kind of in my room."

"Oh..." she said lamely, stepping out to let him in. "Sorry."

"Thanks," he replied, winking at her as he slipped inside.

It seemed as if she stood there for hours, the feeling of pure humiliation, revelation, shock, and something else she couldn't put a finger on playing tug of war inside of her until she didn't know exactly what to feel. She slowly walked back to her bedroom still in a state of shock. The bathroom door across the bed mocked her, as she collapsed in Stefan's bed, becoming a caterpillar in a cocoon of blankets. The loud silence didn't help her at all as the humiliating scene replayed in her mind like a broken record. She shook her head, her body convulsing as she recalled the slip. "Ugh! How embarrassing!" she said to herself. And those eyes! Those eyes she thought she would never see again. Of all people, of course it had to be _him_! Deep down she knew she held a tiny bit of hope that Stefan's brother was _her _Damon, but she never even thought that it would actually happen. Out of all of her daydreams of this very moment, she had not imagined their meeting to happen like this at all. Did he even remember her? For a moment she felt like she was twelve again, with her insecurities and embarrassing moments all hitting her at once. She shut her eyes tight in a futile attempt to block her brain from the mental assault.

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><p>Elena woke up to the sound of quiet murmurings coming from downstairs. She glanced at the clock which read <em>7:38 p.m.<em>

_Stefan's home._

She sat up, throwing the covers aside as she took a look at herself in the mirror once again, a feeling of deep nervousness and anxiety taking root inside of her. Every breath seemed to make her feel even more on edge, and her rapid thought process weren't helping matters either. But she has to face them at one point, and what better moment than now? She brushed her hair quickly and applied some powder on her face, attempting to at least take the edge off her insecurity when she sees him again. She wants him to realize that she's a woman now, and not the same little girl that he knew once upon a time. After a few minutes of fussing with her hair and shirt along with a couple words of self-assurance, she decided it was time. With a brave face, she walked downstairs, not knowing exactly what to expect when she sees Damon again.

"Elena! You're awake," Stefan exclaimed as she got to the bottom of the steps, just in time see the two brothers look up from their position on the couch. She could feel Damon's gaze upon her, but she refused to look back. Instead, she decided to focus her mind on Stefan who stood up to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I know you guys have already met, but Elena, this is my brother Damon. Damon, Elena." So Damon told him they already met. Did he leave out the most crucial detail of _how_ they met? She watched Stefan, trying to look for any sign that he knows. Damon's his brother for goodness sakes, why wouldn't he tell him? She felt the urge to apologize to Stefan, but for what? 'I'm sorry for walking in on your brother in the shower' ?

"Nice to see you again," she heard Damon say. Elena forced herself to look at Damon, just in time to see the corner of his mouth twitching. She was purely convinced that she'd already gotten over him, to be honest. She remembered all the moments of waking up, telling herself exactly how much Damon _didn't_ deserve someone as amazing as her or how they weren't meant to be together anyway. She also recalled all the times she gave herself a mental pat on the back for managing to survive a day withoutthinking about him or obsessing over old pictures of him. By the time she began going on dates, it was as if he disappeared from her mind completely, except for the occasional stray thought here and there. Of course she squashed these thoughts away as soon as the pangs of longing that came along with it began. But now - looking at his face looking up at her, she realizes that her feelings were only suppressed. They were only pushed back into the recesses of her mind and heart, just waiting – waiting for the day that she sees him again. It had to be, because there's no other explanation for the way he's making her feel now. The full force of his magnetizing eyes upon her still had the power to make her knees weak.

She mentally slapped herself, then. No, she was just surprised. Just caught unaware of his presence. Now she knows and she's still processing, but once the initial shock is gone, she'll get over it. She has to. She was so deep into her thoughts however, that she barely noticed his hand held out. An awkward spell passed before she shook it quickly.

"You too." she mumbled as she turned to Stefan. "So, what are you two up to?"

"Well we were thinking of getting some dinner over at the Grill. Wanna come?"

"Oh, well I don't want to bother you guys. It's your reunion, after all." Elena didn't know if she was mentally stable enough to actually sit through a whole dinner with Damon.

"Oh no, it's fine," Stefan said. "Plus, it's a good way for you guys to get to know each other. It'll be fun."

"No, I mean I just woke up and—"

Damon chuckled then. "Oh, come on. I don't bite."

Elena felt trapped. "Fine. Let me just go get my jacket."

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><p>The mixture of music and voices poured out of the building as soon as Damon opened the door to the Grill.<p>

"Ladies first," he said waggling his eyebrows at Elena. She rolled her eyes, and walked past him with Stefan, oblivious as ever, following behind.

"Wow, this place is packed!" Stefan observed.

"Isn't it always? This is like the only hang out in Mystic Falls." Elena replied, getting settled next to Stefan in the small booth.

After everyone got properly seated, Elena can feel Damon's eyes practically burning a hole through the top of her head, but she tried hard to pretend that she didn't notice. After a while, she could see him finally turn to Stefan and say, "You should call the plumber, Stef. The shower in my room doesn't work." She looked up for a fraction of a second, a bit mortified that he'd bring it up now. She hoped they wouldn't notice her uneasiness as she fumbled with her phone pretending to be busy, while listening to Stefan's response. "I actually had to use yours this afternoon, you know?"

"Oh, really?" Stefan said, obviously not really caring much about Damon's answer as he looked over the menu.

"Yup. Since you seemed to already be stocked will all the fancy shampoos and what-not." Elena felt her face heat up with embarrassment mixed with anger. She couldn't believe that he was making her go through this right now.

"That's Elena's stuff. I forgot about that, though. I'll call the plumber, later. Sorry, it's been awhile since anybody's been in there." Stefan replied.

"It's alright. I _much_ prefer your bathroom anyway." Elena wasn't looking but she practically felt the amusement dripping from every word, and she _knew_ it was pointed directly at her.

Stefan laughed. "And why do you say?" All of a sudden, she heard a male voice call out Stefan's name behind them. "Oh hey, Tyler! Sorry guys, I'm just gonna say hi real quick. Just order a coke for me if I'm not back yet."

"Uh.. wait—" Elena began saying, but Stefan already left her side to join his friends. She felt her face heat up again, as she kept her head down, feeling extremely fidgety. She can _not_ be left alone with Damon.

After a few minutes of silence between the two however, Damon finally spoke up."You know as much as I thoroughly enjoy your discomfort, I have to fess up."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Elena replied, the menu becoming her new distraction.

"Okaaay," Damon said drawing the word out. "Well, then I guess it doesn't matter to you that I didn't tell him anything."

Elena looked up. "You – you didn't?"

"Nope." Damon said.

"Why not?" Elena asked, curiosity taking over her anxiety.

"Well, I didn't think my brother would appreciate me saying that I saw his girlfriend naked."

"Oh, right." Elena said, feeling a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. "Thanks." She gave him a small smile, hoping it didn't look _too_ forced.

"Okay, so no more of whatever this is between us then, yeah?" Damon looked at her expectantly. He seemed to sense the remnants of discomfort that Elena was emanating because he added, "Come on, don't be embarrassed. I forgive you, alright? Let's put it behind us. Plus, I blame it on my natural magnetic pull in females everywhere. They just can't resist my good looks."

Elena laughed. "Oh yeah, that's it."

"Let's get reacquainted then? Start new?"

"Sure." Elena beamed, warming up a bit to Damon now that everything's open and cleared out. "But remember to lock your door next time. Please."

"Oh come on, I know you enjoyed it." Damon said, giving her that same playful look that he did when he held the door open for her.

"So we were getting reacquainted?" Elena said, purposely trying to change the subject. She didn't really know how to act around a flirty Damon.

"Oh right, Hello Ms. Elena—" Damon started.

"Wait, you're not supposed to know my name yet," Elena stopped him as she patted her shirt down, pretending to fix herself up. "Okay, I'm ready."

Damon chuckled. "Alright. Hello madam, I'm Damon Salvatore. Also known as the irresistible older brother, of your boyfriend Stefan. And you?"

"Ms. Elena Gilbert. The extremely humiliated girl sitting in front of you. Nice to meet you." Elena said, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Nice to meet you too." Damon replied as the two shook hands, laughing. Just then, Stefan came back to his seat.

"What did I miss?" Stefan said.

"Oh, nothing. Just getting reacquainted with Miss Gilbert here."

"Oh that's good."

"Actually, there's something I've been wanting to ask you Elena." Damon said suddenly.

Elena felt her palms sweating. _Does he remember?_ "What is it?"

"You just look a lot like someone I used to know," Damon said his eyes looking at her questioningly. "Do you know Katherine Pierce?"

She felt her body tense. "She's my cousin," she replied.

"Ahh, that explains it then," Damon said. "I thought you might be related. You look exactly like her."

Elena gave a timid smile, but inside she felt her heart break just a little. That's why he looked at her weird when she opened his door. He didn't remember her as the child he used to hang out with, or even as the little cousin of his ex that he saw practically every day, he just thought he looked like _her. _But then again, what else did she expect?"You really don't remember, do you?" she finally asked, feeling defeated that she was the one that had to remind him.

Damon looked at her then, and he really looked at her for the first time. She actually began feeling a bit uncomfortable in his impenetrable gaze. But she didn't have to wait too long before she saw the light turn on in his eyes. "Wait a second. Elena Gilbert? Gilbert! No.. it can't be.." He exclaimed, his face looking incredulous as ever as he leaned back in his seat attempting to get a better look.

"Yep. It's true."

"I mean ...wow! Wow..This is unexpected. You look…older." His eyes scanned her form, making her feel a little bit self-conscious.

"What? What is it?" Stefan asked looking up from his phone, completely unaware of the situation unfolding before him.

"I know you! I used to babysit you, when I was dating Katherine. I remember. You were so much smaller then."

"Wait, Katherine Pierce?" Stefan asked, turning to Elena. "You're related?"

"Uh huh. That was my label back then, actually." Elena held her fingers in the air to form a small rectangle. "'Katherine Pierce's cousin.'" Elena hoped the bitterness didn't show _too _much in her voice.

"Oh wow, I never knew." Stefan said, "My brother here used to be crazy about that girl."

That seemed to sober Damon right up."Oh please, let's not talk about me while I'm right here." The server came then, bringing the beer Damon ordered. "But how is she? I haven't heard from her in what—4, 5 years? I don't even know."

_Six_. She wanted to say. _We_ haven't heard from you in _six_ years. But she managed to hide her emotions as she replied, "I honestly don't know either. She moved to Europe after her divorce."

"Wait, she got married?" Damon asked surprise etched on his handsome features. "To who?"

"Mason Lockwood." Elena said slowly, unsure of how Damon would react. "The mayor's brother."

Damon replied with a humorless chuckle. "Figures," he said taking a sip of his beer. After a moment, he asked, "How old are you now, anyways?"

"I'm eighteen."  
>"Ah! My favorite age," Damon said popping a fry in his mouth.<p>

Stefan laughed. "You are still _exactly_ the same, you know that?"

"Hey, we can't all be as perfect," Damon said shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh, I'm hardly perfect," Stefan said.

"I know Giuseppe thought so. That's why he gave you the boarding house."

"Oh don't start that again. Elena's here. Let's just have fun tonight, alright?"

"I'm all for fun," Damon said as his eyes flickered up to a woman sitting at the bar. "In fact, will you two excuse me, while I say hi to that beautiful lady in red."

"Really, Damon?" Stefan asked incredulously as Damon stood up, leaving the couple.

"What was that about?" Elena asked curiously.

"Nothing," Stefan said. "We just had a few issues then, but we're better now. I don't know. He can be a bit of a drama queen, but don't worry about it."

Elena was thirsting for more on the topic, but it was apparent that Stefan was closed off and didn't want to talk about it anymore. She realized then that she didn't really know much about Damon, besides the way he makes her feel.

* * *

><p>Elena took a glance at her watch, and let out a deep exasperated sigh as she saw that it's been about forty-five minutes since they finished their food. Damon was <em>still<em> talking to the woman, if you consider her being practically draped all over him talking. She turned around to look for Stefan, who told her he'd only be gone for 'a second' in order to catch up with some friends from high school, then never came back. Of course, she insisted it was fine. However, her attempt at not being the clingy, possessive girlfriend landed her here. Alone. Sitting at the table, looking at her watch for the umpteenth time. She was surprised she hadn't gotten kicked out by the server yet, since they were obviously done eating. After another glance around, she couldn't take it anymore and finally stood up, starting to get pissed.

She never reached Stefan however, because half-way through, she heard Damon call her over. "Yes?" Elena asked a little too sweetly, barely containing the anger simmering under the surface.

"Why is she here?" the girl next to him whined, the alcohol and her British accent slurring her words together. Elena wanted to burst, but instead she took a deep breath and turned around, feeling like she's had enough.

"Wai..wait. Elena. I.. I need to say something," Damon uttered, touching her shoulder. Elena barely understood what he was saying, since he was practically as drunk as the girl next to him.

"What is it?"

"Get Stefan, will you?" he then leaned in to give a loud whisper, "And tell him to clear his clothes in the back seat? Rose is coming with us."

Rose began to giggle, which made Elena want to wring her neck even more.

She gave a tightlipped smile and said, "Yes sir," as she went back to her path of finding her boyfriend. She spotted him talking enthusiastically with some guys that she barely recognized.

He stopped midsentence when he saw her. "Oh hey, Elena! Guys, this is my girlfriend."

A mixture of hey's and hi's took place before Elena turned to Stefan. "I'm getting kind of tired. Can we go home now?"

"Umm. Okay," Stefan looked hesitant to leave but Elena finally managed to pull him away. The two made their way outside until Stefan asked, "Wait…Where's Damon?"

"With some bimbo at the bar." Stefan looked at her questioningly, before going back inside to find his brother. After a few minutes in the cold night air however, Elena was surprised to find him back alone. "Where is he?"

"He won't leave."

"Are you serious? Can't you force him or something?"

Stefan chuckled. "What do you want me to do? He does what he wants." Elena was irked, to say the least. And the sound of Damon's laughter pushed her to the edge. She walked back inside, a pace faster than necessary and found Damon and the woman still sitting by the bar.

"Let's go Damon," Elena said her hands folded over her chest. "Stefan's waiting outside."

"Hold on Elena. Don't be a party pooper. I'm just getting to know Rose."

"Yeah, E-lay-na." The girl said, "Can you just…I don't know... disappear?"

"No. I'm tired and I want to go home. Come on, Damon."

"Hey, why don't we just go to my place?" Rose asked grasping Damon's arm as she stood up from her stool.

"What a great idea!" Damon said, standing up.

"You can't go with her," Elena said firmly, surprised at her own ferocity. Was it only a few hours ago that she was practically afraid to even look at him? I guess her anger and annoyance gave her the amazing strength of not caring to give a fuck about Damon's opinion of her. He obviously doesn't see her that way, and why should she care if he sees her that way anyway? She's with his brother. All she knows is that she's tired and pissed off, and Damon better get his ass in Stefan's car or she will drag him by that expensive leather jacket of his. Boyfriend's brother or not.

"And why can't I? Just because you're cute doesn't mean you can order me around," He said, patting her nose with his index finger.

Elena was taken aback by his statement. _He thinks I'm cute? _But then again, he also thought that she looked like Katherine. She forced herself to return to her strong resolve. "She's drunk, Damon. I'm not going to be responsible for your death in some fiery car crash. Let's go." Damon only continued to look at her, mastering a stupefied gaze that only someone who's consumed a significant amount of alcohol can achieve. Elena's resolve broke as she met his eyes and let her desperation for a bed show through. "Please, Damon?"

It seemed like an eternity of them just looking at each other until he looked away and turned to Rose. "Sorry, Rose. The lady has spoken."

"Are you fucking serious?" The woman looked every bit as disbelieving as Elena was.

"Yeah." Damon said uncaringly, as he gave Elena his arm. "Let's go?"

"Oh, thank god," Elena said, a feeling of relief showering her. Though he was the one to give her his arm, she found that she had been the one responsible for holding him up until they were finally met with the crisp night air. Stefan swooped in suddenly to help Elena.

"Wow." He said, "How did you manage to get him out?"

"I don't even know. I just want to go home." After placing Damon in the backseat, Elena's wish was finally granted and they drove back to the Salvatore boarding house. During the car ride however, Elena couldn't help but feel a bit proud of herself. She had just been able to get Damon to do what she said. And he chose _her_ over Rose, who was obviously a lot more curvaceous and pretty and outgoing. It was quite empowering. At the same time however, it gave her the stirrings of hope. Those damn stirrings that she worked so hard to tell herself was nothing. He doesn't see her that way. He's probably dated a lot of those beautiful girls, who is she compared to them? She looked down, feeling a bit masochistic in the way that she relished in feeling bad about herself, knowing that confidence gave her hope, which just often served to hurt. She looked back at Stefan who was driving, she doesn't need Damon anyway. _Stefan's the only guy who I'm meant to be with_, she said to herself, ignoring the feeling that says otherwise.

* * *

><p>"I'm really, sorry for tonight." Stefan finally said, his eyes glued to the ceiling as he lay on his back. The comforter covering his hips. Elena just looked at him for a second as she continued writing in her journal, her back leaning against the headboard. "I was a jerk. I lost track of time." Elena didn't say anything for a while, hoping to let the silence speak for her. "And I also apologize on Damon's behalf. My brother isn't always such a dick."<p>

"Just stop, Stefan." Elena said as she lay down, setting her notebook and pen aside. She resisted the urge to defend Damon. He wasn't her boyfriend, Stefan was. He didn't owe her anything. Stefan however, left her alone to wait for freaking forty-five minutes. She swallowed her anger however and said, "I forgive you okay? Just don't let it happen again."

"Never," Stefan promised as he wrapped an arm around Elena's waist. Elena laid there with her eyes open, feeling a sense of disappointment. After she finally felt a bit more comfortable around Damon, she had been expecting to let loose and get to know the real him as a friend or at least as someone on an equal level with him. She was expecting to find out what he's been up to and his life since she last saw him, maybe even for them to reconnect and get back to the closeness that she missed.

But of course, nothing ever goes as expected.


	4. Morning After

**Eighp: Lol no…Stefan is not gay. At least as far as I know. But he loves his pals.**

**Dark-Supernatural-Angel: Most of them will probably be from Elena's perspective, but I'm thinking about writing some from Damon's POV too as the story progresses.**

* * *

><p>"Good Morning." Elena poured herself a cup of coffee as she eyed Damon stumbling in, his sexy, tousled bed hair framing a sour expression on his face. She turned back around to face the counter, trying to hide the smile forming on her face. The moment of him saying she was cute, suddenly playing in her mind.<p>

"Not really," he mumbled, as he plopped in one of the chairs by the dining room table.

"Headache?" she asked, trying to keep her cool. He groaned in response, his hands fisted in his hair as his elbows rested on the table. "Want some coffee?"

"Yes. Please."

Elena sacrificed her cup in front of him. "Here. I'm headed out anyway," she said, grabbing her bag and binder from the counter.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Elena made her way to the door.

But before she was able to leave, she heard him say behind her, "Sorry you had to see that."

"See what?" Elena stopped and turned back to find him walking towards her, holding the mug in his hand, looking way too gorgeous for her own good.

"Me. Being a total ass." Elena looked at him curiously, feeling a little bit undeserving of his apology. She couldn't believe that the great Damon Salvatore was apologizing to her.

"What do you mean?"

"I gave a horrible second impression." He said, taking a sip from the mug.

"Oh." She gave him a comforting smile. "Don't worry about it. I get it. You were upset." She paused for a second, unsure whether she should continue. But then she added, "Plus, impressions aren't necessary when I already know who you are."

"Oh do you?" He asked getting closer, an amused expression on his face. Elena's heart began beating faster in her chest, as she hoped to God that he doesn't hear his effect on her.

She felt her former confidence slip just a tiny bit, but she got over it quickly. "You forgot already? You used to confess to me about _all_ your feelings back then." She laughed, matching his cockiness.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He faked a serious expression, but Elena could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I think you do." She said giving him a big wink, mocking him. "See you later, Damon."

Elena resisted the temptation to pat herself on the back on her way out the door, immensely proud at the way she managed to _not_ melt at his feet like she so badly thought she was going to.

* * *

><p>"Bonnie! You will not believe what happened." Elena said as soon as the bell rang to go to their next class.<p>

"What? What is it?"

"You remember how I told you Stefan's brother was coming to stay for a little while?"

"Yeah…" Bonnie stared, waiting for her to continue.

"The brother is Damon."

Bonnie looked confused for a moment. "Damon…Guy-you-used-to-love-and-obsess-over-since-we-were-ten-Damon?"

Elena laughed. "Yup! That's exactly him. Katherine's ex."

Bonnie's mouth hung open, as a look of complete interest took over. "How did you not know that?"

"I don't even know. I totally forgot that his last name was Salvatore."

"That is so trippy." The two just walked in silence, basking in the coincidence of it all. "Well, do you still like him?"

"No…" Bonnie kept looking at her. "Okay, maybe a little bit. Ugh, I feel guilty."

"Well, are you gonna doing anything about it?"

"No!" Elena said, a little too quickly. "What _can_ I do anyway?"

"Do you like him a lot?"

Elena took a while before answering. "I don't know. He's just…so hot and tempting."

Bonnie laughed. "What about Stefan?"

"Of course, I like Stefan."

"Of course."

"You know what?" Elena suddenly said. "This thing with Damon is just a harmless crush. It'll pass. I was just shocked to see him again. Plus, I'm no Katherine. He wouldn't go for me, anyway."

"You never know."

Elena swatted her arm."Don't give me hope!"

"Hey, I'm just saying. It's been years. You grew up. He got over her."

"Don't you think the difference is too big, though? I mean eight…nine years?"

"Well my parents were twelve years apart."

"True…"

"Wait, why are we thinking about this anyway? I thought you're not even considering yourself as a contender?"

"I'm not."

"Good. Don't be a cheater, Elena." Bonnie said, nearing her classroom.

"I'm _not_."

"Good." They stared at each other for a while before laughing. "I'll meet you later, okay?"

"Okay." Elena walked to her own class, still thinking about their conversation. _It's just a harmless crush. It _will_ pass, _she told herself. But the raging feelings she felt and her constant thoughts about Damon said otherwise. _Stefan_. _I strongly like Stefan._ She felt assured then. Stefan was a safe place. A safe thought. She really shouldn't stray.

* * *

><p>After coming home from school, Elena was greeted to the sound of chatter coming from the television set. "Hey," she said as she passed the living room, spotting a very bored-looking Damon splayed out on the couch. He seemed to perk up just then.<p>

"Hey, Elena. Come here. Sit next to me."

"Uh, hold on. I'm just gonna get changed." Elena couldn't help but feel excited. Maybe this will be her chance to reconnect again.

"Make it sexy!" he teased.

"Oh totally," she said sarcastically. As she got up to her room, she picked out a pair of sweats and a large t-shirt. Before putting it on however, her eyes lingered on a pair of cotton short shorts hanging from side of the drawer. She shook her head. _No. I don't need to look good for him. _She slowly put the sweats on, her mind still on the shorts when she heard him knocking on her door. She quickly put her clothes on and answered it.

"You took too long."

"Sor-ry. I'm not a guy, I don't have super speed when it comes to getting ready."

"You were putting on sweats," He deadpanned.

"How about we not have a debate on the time I take to put on sweats?"

"I agree."

"Why are you here anyway?" She asked curiously as he made himself comfortable on the bed.

"Wait, when does Stefan come home?" He asked.

"In about three or four hours. Why?"

"Because I'm bored. We should do something." Damon said, taking a hold of the stuffed bear laying on the bed.

"Hey! Don't touch him." Elena felt embarrassed as soon as the words came out.

"Don't touch who?" He chortled, tossing the bear up and down.

"Give him to me!" Elena shouted, alarmed as she rushed to the bed, attempting to grab her bear.

"You're gonna have to do better than that." Damon jumped off the bed as soon as she got on. "Hey, I remember this," He said looking at the toy. "Harry the Bear right?"

"It's Barry the Bear," she said, formulating a plan on how she would be able to get it. Just then, he made a move to go around the bed and out the door. Before he could make it however, Elena jumped and latched onto his back, attempting to pry the toy from his fingers. She could see tears forming in Damon's eyes from how hard he was laughing at her failed attempts. She tried hard not to laugh along with him, attempting to convey the seriousness of the situation by not reacting.

"Come on Damon, don't be mean!" He ignored her protests and plopped back on the bed, Elena still behind him. She attempted to get out, but his body weight pressed her back into the mattress, making her unable to leave.

"I'm a…I'm a mean person." He said, barely unable to say the words due to his laughter.

Elena finally gave up on trying to get out, panting from the exertion. "Please."

"Why is _Barry_ so important anyway?" He asked, his laughter slowly dying out.

Elena didn't want to confess. She never liked speaking about anything that had to do with her deceased parents, but it was probably the only way to get him to stop. "My mom gave him to me."

A heavy silence overtook the room. Elena realized their position then, with her legs splayed on either side of him with his back still pressing her into the mattress and she felt suddenly shy. She was thankful when Damon sat up. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know," he said, offering her back the doll.

She took it from his fingers and set it back on the bed. "It's okay."

They sat quietly, with Elena trying hard to ignore the lingering warmth that his body left on her. Just then, Damon spoke up. "We still have a problem."

"And what's that?"

"There is nothing to do!" He said laying back down.

An image of a younger Damon and Elena flashed before her.

"_Is there nothing to do here?" Damon sat exasperated on the couch._

"_I've been asking you to play Game of Life with me for the past thirty minutes." Elena continued drawing on the coffee table while glancing up at the TV._

"_Yeah, but that's boring."_

"_What do you want then? I'm all ears." _

"_Let's walk to the park?" _

_Elena bounced up with excitement. "Yes! Let's go! We have to come back before Jeremy though. He's not allowed to be home by himself." After a few minutes of putting on her sneakers, she rushed out the door where Damon was waiting, holding a basketball. "Where'd you get that?" _

"_I found it in your house." _

"_Oh, okay. Can I hold it?" Elena asked walking alongside him, as he handed her the ball. _

"_Why are you always home alone? Isn't John afraid that someone's gonna kidnap you and Jeremy or something?" _

"_That's what _you're _here for." Elena laughed. "Well, Katherine's supposed to be back before us. But, you know how she is."_

"_I do." _

"_Why are _you_ always here?"_

"_Why? You don't like me?"_

"_No. I don't," Elena said jokingly._

"_Ouch!" _

"_I'm just kidding."_

_Damon chuckled. "I'm here because Katherine asks me to come. I guess she doesn't want you guys to be alone either."_

"_You're so whipped, you know that?" _

"_Am not!" Damon replied, pretending to be offended. "Do you even know what that means?"_

"_Yeah. And Yes, you are. You're stuck here every day practically babysitting us, until she's done with whatever she's doing and comes home."_

"_Hey, maybe I just like hanging out with you. You're a pretty cool kid, you know." Elena remained silent, trying to control her reaction at the genuine comment. All of a sudden she felt the ball fall out of her hands. She watched as Damon dribbled it away from her. "Come and get it." _

"_Hey!" Elena ran towards him laughing. _

"Elena?" Damon said waving a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Elenaaa."

"Oh, what?" Elena blinked, returning back to the present.

"You need to get out of the house. You've obviously been spending way too much time with my little brother."

"I can't."

"And why not?"

"I have homework."

"That is a lame excuse and you know it. Come on! I'll take you out, just like old times." Damon sat up, evidently excited by his own suggestion.

"I don't think Stefan would be happy if I left the house the house with you."

"Why?" He laughed, making Elena feel a bit foolish. "We're not doing anything wrong. Plus, he doesn't need to know."

"Now we're keeping secrets?"

"What else is new?" He got her there. Elena sighed. Normally, she would jump at any chance to spend time with him, but lately he's been taking over her mind. Just sitting here, inches away from him makes her skin feel warm. His mere presence makes her happy. She is literally watching herself fall in love with him all over again. And she knows that if she keeps this going, whatever this is, it'll just bring her in deeper, which is simply unacceptable. Stefan deserves better. But alas, an excited Damon is hard to bring back down.

"How about a movie?" she suggested, hoping it would be enough to quench his boredom.

He seemed to contemplate her suggestion for a second before replying, "If you watch with me."

"Duh, that's why I suggested it."

"Good. What movie?" Damon asked, moving up off the bed.

"Surprise me," Elena said. And he truly did, after he came out of his bedroom holding _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. "You remember?"

"Are you kidding me? How could I forget?" He said, going downstairs and popping the dvd in the dvd player.

Elena laughed, as memories of lazy afternoons spent watching Harry Potter over and over again played in her head.

* * *

><p>Time went by fast after the movie ended.<p>

By the time Stefan walked in the front door, she realized that she had failed miserably in avoiding spending time with Damon. After the credits rolled, they just sat there talking and talking about the past and the future and everything in between, and she realized just why she liked Damon in the first place. She loved how comfortable they were together, how everything seemed to fall in place, and she never ever had to pretend like she was anything but herself.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Stefan asked, as he stood by the arch that connected the living room with the hallway.

Elena shot up, feeling a bit guilty as she made a show of grabbing the empty bowl of popcorn to put away. "Hey Stefan, I missed you." She said, giving him a peck on the cheek on her way to the kitchen.

"Missed you too," he said, before facing Damon.

"Just watching movies with Elena, you jealous?" Damon stuck a thumb out to point at the television, where the root menu of the movie had been playing on loop for the past forty five minutes or so.

"Not at all. I happen to trust my girlfriend." Elena heard Stefan say as she left the room, feeling even more unease with herself.

"Good. Then you won't mind it if we go out tomorrow?"

There was pause in Stefan's voice before he replied, "Go ahead. I don't mind. I'm probably gonna be out all day tomorrow anyway. You guys can go get some fresh air."

"Awesome," she heard Damon say.

Elena fought the urge to do a face palm. _No_! This is exactly what she didn't want. It's exactly what she couldn't handle. A whole day out with Damon? If she does this now, she knows she can never go back. Her walls can only take so much onslaught. It's so difficult to not stare at him every time he's in the room, and it's getting even more difficult the longer she's exposed to him. She has to step out now, before it's too late. She has to end it, before she can't deny what it is she feels for him anymore. But Stefan's making it so easy for Damon to take her away. Is it bad that she wanted him to be jealous? That she wanted him to say no? That's all he had to do, but he's just simply not caring. Stefan just needs to hold on a little tighter, and it'll give her the incentive. She looked at the big grandfather clock when she passed the dining room, realizing with a bit of surprise that Stefan had come home an hour late, and she didn't even notice. What was the world coming to? Normally, she'd be freaked out of her paranoid mind.

Elena began washing the dishes then, a form of therapy she discovered when Isobel returned.

Damon walked in after a few minutes, holding empty cups. "Need help?"

"No, I'm fine," she said, grabbing the cups from him.

"Are you sure? This is an offer that comes once in a life time," he joked, leaning back on the counter, beside her.

"I'm good, Damon. Thanks, though," She tried to dismiss him politely, attempting to not show any sign that anything is wrong.

Damon just looked at her. "You okay? We have a _big_ day tomorrow."

"I can't." she replied, trying to ignore him from her peripheral vision.

"If this is about Stefan-" he began.

"It's not," she said, trying to focus on the suds coating her fingers. "I don't want to talk right now." She felt the heat of Damon's questioning gaze still on her, forcing her to look at him. "I'm just sleepy, okay?"

Damon obviously didn't believe her excuse. "Then maybe you should let me finish up."

She wanted to tell him: _Stop doing that. Stop being so nice and understanding, because it's you can't you_ see? _You're the problem! I hate the fact that I can't seem to ignore you, or get you out of my mind. I hate how I replay every moment that we spend together and every conversation gives me this warm feeling that can just leave me smiling all day. I hate how after all these years, I still feel exactly the same. And I really hate how my mind knows it's _wrong_, but my heart won't listen. _However, all she could manage was, "No, it's okay. I like washing dishes."

Damon let out a laugh, before saying, "Okay, okay. I'll just leave you then all to your lonesome," his hands held up in surrender. But before he left the room, he paused and added, "When you're ready to talk though, and you can't talk to _him_…well you know where I'll be."

"Thanks, but I'm fine." Elena heard his footsteps slowly retreat as she continued scrubbing, trying to delay the moment she has to lie next to Stefan and face the guilt building up inside her at the fact that she's slowly falling for his brother.

By the time Elena finally walked up to Stefan's room, she was grateful to find him sleeping. She stood there trying to see his sleeping form in the darkness, attempting to decipher her feelings for this boy and the boy in the room next to him. When did she ever have to be in this situation? Stuck in between two great guys, who don't deserve someone as deceiving as her?

She crawled on the bed on all fours, taking care to not wake him up. She caressed his face, so peaceful in his slumber, trying to remind herself all the reasons she fell for him in the first place.

She remembered the first time they met during a football game. She came for Matt Donovan, her best guy friend and ex-boyfriend. However she found him with his handsome friend, Stefan Salvatore, another player on the team. They were apparently having a debate on whether girls like blonde guys or brunette's more, and they pulled Elena in to decide. She said she liked highlights to which Stefan replied, "Highlights on _brunettes_, right?" She chuckled at the memory. She learned later that the debate was supposedly an ice breaker that Stefan came up with as a way for Matt to introduce her to him. Throughout the first few months of their relationship she was fascinated by Stefan. She loved how he always came up with the most interesting topics about changing the world and she was interested in his different ways of doing things. Their conversations were so far-fetched. But she realized it was different. Damon and Stefan were _different_. And her feelings for them, were still something that was undecipherable. She closed her eyes, as she lied next to him, feeling his body against her. Feeling safe in what she knows. And she remained this way, as sleep slowly took over her foggy mind.

**Will Elena be able to control her feelings towards her boyfriend's brother? Tune in next chapter to find outtt. :)**


	5. Discipline

Elena had woken up with a mission: To separate herself from Damon. No secret gazing or stray thoughts allowed. She's made her decision and that's Stefan. There's no other alternative. If she ever entertained any other choice, then for sure it would only hurt everyone involved. And who said that Damon even wanted her? Why would he? Plus, he's flirty with everyone.

Besides, Stefan took her in when she needed him the most, and she could never betray him like that. It's the least she can do for all he's done for her. Her energy can't be split up with this whole dilemma, anyway. Stefan's birthday is coming up, and she's planning to give him the best twentieth birthday party ever.

So Elena walked warily downstairs, mentally prepared to ignore Damon. After a careful look around however, she realized that he was nowhere to be found. She let out a breath that she didn't even know she was keeping in, telling herself that it was relief she was feeling and not disappointment.

She was eating her cereal when her ears perked up at the sound of feet coming down the steps, she automatically looked down at her cheerios.

"Morning, Beautiful." She raised her head suddenly, realizing that it was Stefan who came in.

"Oh." She said out loud, before she could stop herself.

Stefan chuckled. "Nice to see you too."

"No, sorry. I was just surprised. Why are you up so early?" she asked, forcing herself to believe that the sudden racing of her heart had to do with Stefan and nothing with the possibility that it could've been Damon who came in.

"I wanted to get some running in, before I had to get ready." He said, grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator.

"Oh, okay." Elena said. "Why did you come in so late yesterday?"

"Coach wanted the team to hang out more. He says it's to build up team dynamics or something." Stefan said. "So, we stayed over at Matt's for a little bit and got some pizza."

"You didn't call."

"Yes I did. You weren't answering." He said, facing her.

"I didn't hear anything."

"I'm not lying! Even ask the guys. I called you like five times."

"I guess I'll check then."

"Go right ahead, tell me I'm right." He closed the refrigerator door, folding his arms over his chest.

Elena found her blackberry after fishing in her big black handbag. And on the screen flashed 3 missed calls. "_Three_ times," she said triumphantly.

"Three… five same thing."

"Did you just say three and five are the same thing?" Elena said amusedly.

"Point is I'm not lying, okay?" Stefan said.

"Is it alright if you come back earlier today then? Like before seven?"

"Why?"

"No reason. I just miss you."

"I don't know Elena. We'll see," Stefan said walking away from her.

"Please?" Elena asked. She needs him right now. She needs him there to help her resist, because there are moments around Damon where she doesn't even know if she has control of herself anymore. She needs Stefan there to remind her of _their _love, and as to why she's fighting _so_ hard, because her resolve breaks with every passing moment that it seems as if he doesn't even care.

As she looked at his passive face, so devoid of any kind of affection in that moment, she had a thought. She wondered what he would do if she actually flirted with Damon in front of him. Will he actually care? But she put the thought away, as soon as it came forth. No, she's not that kind of girl. She's not Katherine.

"I said we'll see, okay?" Stefan said irritation showing in his voice, prompting Elena to stop insisting and to let him go.

She sighed as he left the room. "Miss you," she said in her bowl, knowing he was too far to hear anyway.

* * *

><p>"Hey are you guys doing anything today?" Elena asked as she caught up with Bonnie and Caroline.<p>

"Elena!" Caroline exclaimed, giving Elena a big hug. "I missed you!"

"Missed you too," Elena replied, more out of courtesy than anything else.

"How's life? Stefan? School? You never talk to me anymore."

"What? You're the one that never hangs out with us anymore," Elena said, trying hard not to let her disdain show towards the friend who abandoned her as soon as the going got tough.

"Well cheer practice has been really crazy." Caroline said as if the word explained her absence in Elena's life, when she needed her the most. "You should really come back on the squad, though. The team hasn't been the same since you left." Caroline said, half-heartedly. Elena knew however, that Caroline had been more than happy to be rid of the competition.

"Ugh, no thanks. I've been stressed as it is," Elena replied.

"Speaking of that," Caroline said slowly. "Bonnie tells me you're hosting a party this Saturday?"

Elena gave Bonnie a reproachful look, which she returned with an apologetic one. "Yeah, but it's not gonna be that big. Just a few close friends and family."

"Well, what's the occasion?"

"Stefan's twentieth."

Caroline's face lit up with glee. "Will there be college guys, then?"

"Yeah probably," Elena said hesitantly, trying to say the least amount of information as possible in order to dissuade Caroline from going. "But, I haven't made the guest list yet so I don't know."

"I'll help you out. Starting with me," she said, giving Elena a big smile. "Come on, it's the least you can do for being so gloomy for the past month."

Elena felt a bit angry at her insensitivity, but knew this was neither the time nor the place to bring up their problems. "I don't know. We'll figure it out."

"Okay. Just text me the time and address then when you're done figuring, yeah?"

"Sure Care," Elena said, silently angry with herself for letting Caroline get what she wants.

After a few more minutes of meaningless conversation, Caroline suddenly said she had to leave along with some excuse about a ticket-thing, which Elena didn't really care to remember.

As soon as Caroline was out of hearing range, Elena turned to Bonnie. "Why would you tell her Bon? You know how I feel."

"I'm sorry, it was an accident. It just slipped out, " Bonnie replied.

"Ugh," Elena said. "It's okay. I'm not gonna let a little Caroline spoil my mood."

"Sorry again," Bonnie replied. "Well, what's up?"

"Actually I came to ask if you were doing anything today. I'm kind of avoiding Damon."

Bonnie looked amused. "Why?"

"I don't know. I just need a moment without him for once."

"Jeez. The guy's been there for only what—two days? And you're already all hot and bothered."

"No!" Elena said quickly. "That's not it at all, okay? I just want to leave the house."

"Whatever you say, Elena." Bonnie said smugly, not believing a word Elena said.

"Are you doing anything today or not?"

"I am… _not_," Bonnie said slowly. "But, I think dad wants me to get some stuff for the house right now. I'll be home in an hour or so."

"Kay, I'll just drive over later then. You can help me plan the party and stuff." Elena replied, grateful to have an opportunity to not be suffocated by her overwhelming feelings.

"Cool, I'll see you later," Bonnie said as she got into her own car.

* * *

><p>As soon as she opened the front door, she braced herself for another sight of him on the couch, but it never came. She walked in cautiously, straining to hear any sound indicating that he was home, but the only noise greeting her was the soft creak of the floorboard bending with her every step. <em>Wow, it's like he knows that I'm trying to avoid him<em>, she said to herself after letting her body relax and making her way to her room, realizing that he wasn't home. When she got there, she quickly put on the comfortable shorts that she avoided wearing for Damon yesterday. He wasn't home anyway, so might as well make the most of it.

It had been a total of twenty minutes before the sound of the front door opening hit Elena's ears. It's funny how a simple sound can have such an effect on her, with the inadvertent way that her body automatically tensed up, sensing his presence. Her breaths came out heavily, with her chest rising up and down with anticipation as she heard his footsteps walking up the stairs. She looked at the door as if a monster would come through it at any moment.

She prayed silently that he wouldn't come inside, because she didn't know how she would act if he did, for it seemed as if she was in a gray area of sorts. She wanted to ignore him and live in this illusion with which she had no care for him at all, but she couldn't bring herself to it. It seemed a bit unfair to him if she suddenly gave him the cold shoulder, but a congenial relationship only brought them closer, which was unacceptable. So what _can_ she do?

Her tense moment was interrupted however, by the sound of her stomach growling. She hadn't eaten since she got home, and the pangs of hunger pervaded her empty stomach. _Damn, _she thought. _Maybe if I make this quick, I wouldn't have to see him. _She waited patiently for the soft click of his door closing, before she tiptoed away from her room in order to make her way to the kitchen below.

After finally reaching her destination, she raided the fridge and drawers for everything she needed, fumbling with the ingredients with a bit of urgency brought on by her fear of Damon walking in at any moment. Once she finished, she breathed a sigh of relief, clutching the delicious albeit messy sandwich in her hands, feeling a sense of triumph.

At least up until she jumped with the loud "Boo!" from behind her, causing her to drop her newly made egg sandwich in the process.

"Man!" she said, bending down to pick up the remains, as he doubled over laughing. "Thanks, Damon," she said sarcastically. After straightening up in order to look at him, her breath was nearly taken away. He was shirtless, a sheen of sweat covering his delicious body.

"You're welcome." He grinned at her cheekily. She was extremely glad for the sandwich in her hands, for it kept her from going over there just to run her hands all over him. _Control._ She must remain in control.

Elena took a moment to put herself together before rolling her eyes at him. "You need a shower," she said moving away from him to throw the sandwich away, desperately trying to still her rapidly beating heartbeat, which by the way was merely a product of surprise and _not_ – definitely _not_ because of him being so close to her, looking like he just walked out of some beach photo shoot. "Where have you been, anyways?" she asked, determined to not alert him that he was affecting her in any way.

"Gym. I have to entertain myself somehow. You take too long."

"I was busy," she said, telling herself that the detour to Walmart and the ice cream shop had nothing to do with avoiding him.

"Well now that you're home. How about we go on that outing that I was talking about?" Elena opened her mouth to reply before Damon cut her off, "Before you say anything, I already talked to Stefan about it, and he was more than happy to let you go."

_More than happy to let you go_. The words rang in Elena's mind. Would he be? Really? She heard their conversation earlier, but she wondered if her going with Damon really meant nothing to him. If so, then she was a better actress than she thought, because he definitely had something to worry about. Her head returned to the present as she remembered to reply, "What I was going to say was that I already made plans. Bonnie invited me over to her house today." A little white lie never hurt anybody.

"Why?" He asked incredulously.

She felt a little offended. Was it really a big surprise that her friend would invite her over? "I _do_ have other friends, you know. Plus, we're planning Stefan's birthday." Damon just gave her a look. "What?"

"You're seriously asking your friend to help you plan my brother's birthday? I know him more than anyone. Stay here and we'll plan. The plumber's coming anyway, you can help me wait."

Elena sighed, trapped in her dilemma. She knew that he was right. If anyone's up for the job of making Stefan's party amazing, then it would probably be his only brother.

He _would _find a way to use her own goals against her. "Fine," she reluctantly said. She will not let her feelings get in the way of giving Stefan what he deserves. She can put her emotions aside for this. She knows she can. Plus, talking to Damon and working with him doesn't mean she's cheating on Stefan, right? They can coexist. She's used to years of hiding her feelings for him anyway, what's another few days compared to that? "One condition though."

"What do you propose?" He asked, giving her those smoldering eyes of his.

Elena refused to let him affect her. "You need to shower first. You smell." She scrunched up her nose for emphasis.

"Oh, really?" He said, a mischievous look gleaming in his eyes as he sauntered closer to her. Elena took a few steps back, afraid of what he had in mind.

"Yep." She said slowly. "Whatchoo gonna do about it?" she said, not completely being able to stop the playful tone to her words. She just couldn't resist teasing him, as she continued walking backwards.

"Is that a challenge I hear?" he said, walking closer to still, making her feel like jello with his intense stare. She prayed silently that her reaction to _him_ wasn't being obvious right now, especially with the way her gaze seemed to be glued to those breathtaking azure eyes, somehow made more enticing by the promise of something wicked inside them.

She refused to back down however, and replied with, "Maybe." But as soon as she said it, she felt her back hit the wall. _Crap. _She looked up just in time to see a smile form on his lips. "Don't do it Damon," she warned, right before he slipped his arms around her. He laughed, rubbing the side of his sweaty face on hers. Elena let out a laugh, "Gross! Get away from me!" Her hands were stuck to her sides by his strong arms, leaving her trapped. "Damon!" she laughed, her stomach hurting from all the giggling. After much struggling she was able to wriggle her hands in between them. There was only a moment of hesitation before Elena managed to put her palms squarely on his chest to push, but he was too strong. She lingered for just a moment, relishing in the feeling of him on her hands before she let go.

"You are not going anywhere," he laughed.

"Ewww!" She said, even in the reluctant way that she relished the feeling of his body against hers. Just then she thought of a plan. She looked over his shoulder and said, "Stefan?" He turned around quickly, his grip on her slackening. She seized the opportunity and ran away as fast as she can, while snickering.

"You little liar!" He yelled, chasing after her. But as soon as she reached the steps to the second floor, the doorbell rang. Damon slowed in his tracks as Elena walked over to open it, her laughter slowly waning.

When she opened the door, the man looked between her, clad in those mini shorts and him, panting and shirtless, standing behind her. The man coughed before saying, "Sorry, to uh…interrupt. But, someone called for a broken shower?" He stood awkwardly with his tools hanging loosely on his utility belt.

"Yeah, upstairs." Damon said, letting the man in as he closed the door behind him.

The man's reaction felt like a splash of ice cold water over her head. Elena felt the need to clarify, because remaining silent felt like too much of a confirmation that something actually was going on when there really wasn't. They were just playing. Right? It was nothing and this man needs to know that. "Oh! We're not really…we're not—"

"It's okay ma'am, it's not my business," The man said curtly as he turned to Damon, "So where…?" Elena felt her face heat up, feeling embarrassed as Damon gave her an extremely amused look, right before leading the man up to his bathroom.

Elena took a seat on the couch, realizing that she failed again. How does he do it? How does he always manage to find his way through her defenses? She put her head in her hands, ashamed of herself for giving in. For loving every minute she spends with him. She still remembers the feel of his hard chest on her hands, and she hates how much she's reveling in it, yet unable to stop.

"You okay?" she heard him say as he walked towards her.

"Yeah," she said, getting up and walking past him.

"Where are you going?"

She turned to show him the dark specks from his sweat adorning her shirt. "Yeah. You did that."

Damon just laughed, "You deserved it."

"I did not!" She said with a voice of defiance mingled with suppressed amusement. She turned towards him fully intending to show him just how much she didn't deserve it, before she was able to stop herself, opting instead for the safe option of just going up the stairs. "So are you staying?" he yelled behind her.

"Are you taking a shower?" she retorted.

"Are you coming with me?" he asked, cheekily.

"Nope," she yelled back, continuing up the steps. She closed her eyes. God, if only he could see just how hard she's working to fight him right now. She wishes she could know exactly what he thinks about her because to be honest, she's so confused. Her feelings are so mixed up that she doesn't even know what to do anymore. She cleared her thoughts just then. _No. This is not about Damon. This day is about planning. It's about Stefan. It's absolutely not about Damon's sexiness or his smoldering blue eyes. No._ Gosh, she needs a relaxing shower to clear her mind.

* * *

><p>After a long, long, angst-filled shower which relieved none of the tension she felt and a text to Bonnie telling her that she decided to stay at home, she grabbed a piece of paper and pen and walked downstairs to find Damon making sandwiches in the kitchen.<p>

"Hey," she greeted him, staying on the other side of the counter.

"Hi," he gave her a smile.

"So let's get started?" Elena was eager to finally begin planning as she placed the paper on the counter, it would serve as a good distraction.

"Let me just finish making my peace offering."

"Your peace offering?" She stilled her movements and looked at the sandwich he was making.

"Yeah. I guess I feel a little guilty for making you drop your sandwich earlier. So I made you one of my Salvatore Specialties. You know, 'cause I'm nice like that." He said smirking up at her.

Elena attempted to control the fluttering in her chest. "Oooh, sounds fancy."

"Wait til you taste it." He said, finishing up and putting two sandwiches on a plate. "Come on." The two walked into the living room and sat on the couch with Elena taking care to leave space in between them. She doesn't trust herself when it comes to him and close proximity.

"Thanks," she said as she grabbed one and took a big bite. As soon as she tasted it she realized exactly why it was called a Salvatore Specialty. She let out a huge groan, as the flavors flooded her mouth. "Oh my goodness, what did you put in this?" She said looking at him. She was surprised to find his eyes glued to her. The fire in his gaze causing her to look quickly away.

"If I tell you, then I'd have to kill you," he said mysteriously.

"Kill me then, because this stuff is amazing!" Elena gobbled up another bite. After a while she realized that he was just staring at her, so she slowed her chewing and put the sandwich down, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"I should make you sandwiches more often." He said after a while, looking at her with an expression that showed something else underneath a layer of amusement.

Elena laughed. "Let's get to work."

"Hold on," He chuckled. "You have something…" His eyes moved to her lips.

"Where?" she asked, wiping her mouth. "Is it gone?"

"No…wait let me." She watched him take his thumb closer to her lips, and it was as if the world slowed down. She sat still, her heart thundering in her chest. Watching him looking at her, his tongue unconsciously darting out to wet his lower lip. It was insane how much she wanted to jump him in that very moment. But just like that, the moment was over as he pulled back. "There, all gone. So let's get started?"

"Uhm..yeah." Elena sat back, trying so hard not to smile or seem affected in any way. _Get a hold of yourself, Gilbert. It's just Damon. Just Damon. _She looked back at her piece of paper, making sure to edge a little bit further from him just for good measure.

After almost two hours worth of ideas being thrown back and forth, Elena was definitely glad that she stayed. For one, she never knew that Stefan had a best friend all through growing up, and apparently Damon might still know the number. The planning had actually been going really well too. They decided on a huge party in the house with all of Stefan's friends and family invited. Elena even managed to get Damon to call their Uncle Zach who they haven't really contacted in years. They had been so comfortable actually, that Elena thought that this would be a good time to maybe bring his dad up in the conversation. A subject that had been tugging on her curiosity since Damon's welcome dinner.

"Damon, what about your parents? Do you think they'll be able to come?" she asked slowly.

Elena almost flinched at his expression. It was as if his easy going attitude completely dissipated, and a hard mask took over his face. She bit her lip, feeling bad that she even mentioned it. "Doubt it. Our mom's dead and Giuseppe's not really the type of guy to give a fuck," he said in a harsh tone that she wasn't used to hearing on him.

Elena decided it wasn't really the best time to wonder why he calls his father by his first name. "Where is…you're dad, then?"

"I don't know, Elena. Stefan might, but there's really no point."

"Okay, then. But if he and Stefan are close, then should we invite him? It would be a good surprise."

"I thought we already had a surprise? His best friend."

"But I mean what's a best friend compared to your dad? It would be great." Elena knew she was pushing it, but her curiosity was really getting the better of her.

"Well then ask Stefan, because I don't know."

"Okay." Elena said leaving the subject as is.

"Anyways," Damon said loudly, making sure _that_ conversation was beyond them. "Are we done here? You already have the guest list of his friends, and materials and all those goodies?"

"Yup." Damon got up suddenly, and Elena actually felt really sorry about bringing it up and destroying his mood. It was obvious he was trying to hide all the negative feelings. The tension that overtook the room was practically tangible. All Elena knew was that she really wanted to comfort him, to hug him and have him spill out all of his problems to her, but she knows that that particular fantasy probably won't happen any time soon. Before he left for the kitchen however, she managed to say, "Thank you Damon." He looked back at her. "For helping." She offered a small conciliatory smile, hoping that he could see how sorry she felt through it.

"Anytime Elena," he said solemnly. Before he was able to walk away however, he turned back around. "Really, though. You got any more itches needed to get scratched, just come to Papa." He said waggling his eyebrows at her.

Elena threw a pillow at him, which he dodged with ease. "I can't believe you just said that," she said laughing. She gathered her papers and walked back to her room, still basking in that glow you get after the end of a time well spent.

* * *

><p>She lay back on her bed, the sound of a text breaking her out of her stupor. She looked to her side where the phone lay beside the alarm clock.<p>

She saw two texts.

_Sorry lena. Cant make it early today I know u wanted me to but I'll jst make it up 2u l8r k? Missyoo :) –_Stefan

_:( Ok. Miss u too, _she replied.

She couldn't help but feel let down. She gets it, he's busy. He's _always_ busy. But that's just the thing. It was like he was so injected into his own web of friends, school, practice, . that there was no room for her. Inside, she knew that part of her move with him was slightly motivated with the hope that they'd have more time to spend together, which had always been a constant problem. But it was like the complete opposite. He probably thought that living together didn't warrant any more quality time, since they saw each other every day. But she knew that they weren't really _seeing_ each other. What happened to the passion, that used to underlie every look passed between them? Did it really die out, so soon? It's like they settled into a certain sense of comfort, that it just didn't make her heart beat as fast as it used to. She refused to think about those thoughts. They like each other a lot. Maybe love isn't in the picture yet, but it's coming. Eventually. Still, it annoyed her how he's always putting everything else before their relationship. Is it really her fault that she's angry right now? I guess he never promised her that he would come, and she really should've expected it but still. She was looking forward to spending time with him later on, but apparently something more important came up.

She sighed and looked at the next text from Bonnie.

_Hey Elenurrz. When ur done planning and shtuff wanna swing by? Theres a fair an hours drive frm here, and Carolines been bugging me to go. She has xtra tickets. Hurry to reply tho! It closes at midnight._

Elena texted back. _Caroline? Hmm idk. But where ru guys?_

She waited for the small _ding_.  
><em>yea..shes here at my house. but it'll be rlly fun! Come oonn…You can evn invite ur lover ;) <em>

Elena chuckled. She looked at the clock, it's almost about five hours to midnight. If Stefan can have fun and decide never to be home, then so can she.

_On my way_, she texted back before getting dressed quickly. While she was applying her mascara, she debated with herself whether she should bring Damon or not. Well he really _has_ been extremely helpful, and it'd be kind of messed up if she didn't. After taking a last look at the mirror, she walked in the hallway towards his room. But her steps were halted by the conversation she overheard.

"You just need to wait a little while longer, I'll be back alright? You'll be fine without me for a few weeks?" There was a pause until he said, "Alright, just hang on there. Bye Andie. I'll see you soon." _Andie? Who is this Andie? _ She was surprised at the pang of jealousy that struck her. And at the same time she was angry with herself, because she couldn't help it. That's not good. She decided that she really needs time away from Damon now. This tugging feeling within her, which gave her this stupid urge to break down from overhearing something which was probably nothing was complete and utter evidence of that. It's the only way she'll be able to survive the forthcoming days with him, without doing _something_. Before she could make herself disappear out the front door however, she heard Damon walk out of his bedroom. "Elena? Why are you so dressed up?"

She turned back, "I'm headed out."

"Where to?"

"This…uhm thing that Bonnie invited me to."

"Oh…alright then. Have fun," he said.

"Thanks," she replied mechanically, heading for the door without looking back. Okay, maybe she felt a little guilty about leaving him behind, but he never insisted to come right? Plus, she'll give him privacy to talk to that precious Andie person who he was talking to. Just the name brought back this feeling in her chest which seemed to squeeze her fragile heart. She shook her head. _No. He can have fun with whoever. It's not my business. I'll tend to my own right now._ She felt mad at herself for being so angry, when she had no right. She turned up the music in her car, attempting to drown her emotions. Maybe he wasn't meant to go anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Big chapter coming up ;)<strong>

**And please review. I love hearing your thoughts. **


	6. The Grove Hill Fair

"Yay! You were able to come!" Bonnie said giving her a big hug.

"Yup," Elena said enthusiastically, letting her excitement for the fair drown out her previous emotions. She looked at Bonnie then, who was obviously trying to see behind her. "What are you doing?"

"You didn't invite Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome?"

Elena rolled her eyes at the mention of _him_. "Damon's not that tall," her tone came out more harshly than she intended.

"Uhm…Who said anything about Damon?" Bonnie said pure amusement coloring her features. "I thought you were inviting Stefan?"

Elena bit her tongue. "Don't look at me like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bonnie said still continuing her pointed look.

"I don't want to talk about it," Elena said letting her bad mood show through her voice.

"Okay, okay… let's just have fun then," Bonnie said. "Wait up, I'm just gonna get Caroline."

"Alright," Elena said, waiting out by her car. After a few minutes, the two had finally burst out of the house.

"Hey Elena!" Caroline greeted, practically jumping up and down in excitement.

"Hey Care," Elena waved. "So which car are we taking?"

"We can use Grams's. She's asleep right now anyways," Bonnie said, eyeing the shiny Mercedes parked in the driveway.

"You sure? We can use mine," Elena offered.

"No, it's fine. This is the only time I can get away with using it anyway," she said mischievously. "Get in. Let's get this party started!"

* * *

><p>Elena looked out through the window, feeling free for the first time in a long while. Okay, maybe it's the second time, but we're not counting those magical couch conversations with Damon. She then berated herself for remembering <em>him.<em> _Why brain, why? Why must you always come back to him? No matter what I do, and wherever I am it's like I find some way to connect my thoughts back to him? _She then felt a small pang of _something_ after she remembered him talking to that Andie person, whoever she is. _Ugh, no. I came here to forget him, and I will._ She forced the thoughts to the back of her mind and instead focused her attention on simply basking in this moment, sitting here among people who actually care for her. She watched the mountains passing by, and the disk-shaped moon which sat so stubbornly up in the sky no matter how fast they were going. It's one of those times where you wish you could just stop life, stop everything, and just live in that moment forever. Elena forgot how much she missed hanging out with the girls. And yes, even Caroline who was unashamedly singing along to the Justin Bieber song that was blasting from the radio. She looked on affectionately, just feeling so grateful. Bonnie could always be counted on to stick with her through thick and thin. And she found herself slowly forgiving Caroline, too. She realized that she really had been a downer to her optimistic friend, who had her own problems at home. She missed these nights, so rare now among all the family issues that sprouted forth.

She hadn't been able to relax like this since Isobel decided to return from Europe and back into the family. It was a surprise, really. It had been a year after Katherine's failed marriage, and they had guessed that she probably contacted her estranged mother when she fled to Europe. Elena remembered John telling her that Isobel left the family after it became clear that he planned to adopt his orphaned niece and nephew. Probably the only time in his life that he'd been able to stand up to her wild protests, but for some reason after all these years, she managed to weasel herself back into John's life. It still baffled Elena how easily he let her back in after she was able to abandon her own husband and child. Elena remembered when Isobel first entered their home, with her expensive luggage lugging behind her. She was at awe at this regal woman. And the instant she began talking to John, was the moment she realized where Katherine had gotten that special charm of hers which seemed to enthrall the people around her and at the same time entice them into her own manipulative little web. At first Isobel tried to act more civilized towards those 'Gilbert kids', and Elena laughed inside her head for actually thinking that she might be able to like this stranger who had invaded her home. But the more John began to accept her the more she ignored them, and the ignore slowly turned into disgust until John was so engrossed into this terrible woman that her mistreatment barely registered upon him. He had been so afraid to lose her again, that he hadn't had the strength to protect Elena and Jeremy; an act that earned a bit of resentment from Elena. She wanted to blame her for why Jeremy got addicted, blame him for never stopping her constant abuse which probably spurred Jeremy on, but in the end it really was Jeremy's choice, and no one could've stopped him but himself. Something that Elena still needed to let sink in. The fact that he had accidentally burned down the house while under the influence was just the exact moment Isobel had been waiting for to finally kick them out of their lives forever.

And what sucks is that it worked.

Elena suddenly looked up, the beeping of the car shaking her out of her memory induced stupor.

"Fuck! We're out of gas!" Bonnie yelled, looking at the blinking indicator alarmingly.

"Are you serious, Bonnie? Why didn't you check?" Caroline said, her shrill voice cutting through the tune that was bursting through the speakers.

"I-I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, what are we gonna do?" Bonnie panicked, moving towards the right lane.

Options began running through Elena's mind. They were stuck on the freeway. "Calm down guys. Do you think there might be a gas station nearby?"

"Well, I don't want to drive around until we find one! Stopping in the middle of the freeway does _not_ seem like a good idea." Elena could feel the agitation evident in Bonnie's voice.

"Shit! What do we do? What do we do?" Caroline said.

"Calm down guys, just go to the next exit. There's always gas stations—" But Elena was cut off by the sputtering noises that the car was emitting.

"Oh my gosh! Pull over Bonnie! I don't want to die!" Caroline said, her head whipping around to look at all the other cars going around 70 mph.

"Okay! Okay!" Bonnie said, barely making it over to the right shoulder before her car whirred to a slow stop. "Oh my goodness, I'm dead guys. I'm dead. Grams is gonna kill me when she finds out."

"She doesn't have to. We can just call someone over to buy some gas, and they can drive over. It's only around…" Elena glanced at her watch. "7:45... people are still awake."

"Hey, I'm not calling my mom. I snuck out, and I am not getting in trouble," Caroline said.

"And Grams is literally gonna set me on fire if she finds out that I took her car out."

The two looked at her expectantly. "I'll call Stefan." Elena dialed her phone quickly, but just as she expected, the call was just sent to voicemail. She called him four more times, but to no avail. "Come on Stefan, pick up! Ugh!"

"Elena you have to call Damon," Bonnie suggested.

"What? No! I bothered him enough today. I'll call Matt," Elena said. However, that alternative failed quickly after Matt told them that his mom had borrowed his car and was unable to pick them up. Elena even resorted to calling Uncle John, but Isobel had answered and hung up before she could even get a word in. Elena sighed. She really didn't want to call Damon. She already felt a bit bad about leaving him and taking up his time. But fate apparently had different plans.

"Man! We're losing time," Caroline said angrily.

"Call Damon, Elena! Come on. Or else we're gonna be freaking stuck here and there's not even gonna be time for the fair."

"Fine! Fine. I will." Elena swallowed her pride as she dialed Damon's number. Silently, she prayed that he wouldn't answer.

However the sound of his smooth voice came through the speaker all too quickly. 'Miss me already?'

'Uhm…You can say that,' Elena replied slowly. 'We need help.'

'What? What is it?' she noted the urgency in his tone.

'We ran out of gas and we're stuck on the side of the freeway.' There was a pause before she heard Damon laughing.

'You didn't check the gas before you left?'

'Okay, first of all we weren't using my car,' Elena began to argue, before she looked up and saw Bonnie whispering the words '_Stay Focused!' _She took a breath, 'Damon! So can you help us?'

'Yes, yes. Where are you?'

'I'll text you the address of where we were supposed to go, okay? Then just go to the freeway route. You'll see a silver Mercedes by the side of the road. It's about thirty minutes in.'

'Alright, I'm coming.'

"Yes! Finally!" Caroline said, rejoicing.

A long period of sweating and constant clock-checking ensued before the group had seen the sleek, black car pull over behind them. It was as if a ton had been lifted, and the girls practically jumped up and down in relief.

"Thank god!" Bonnie said, as she came out of the car with Elena.

Damon walked towards them, holding a gas can. "Sorry I took so long."

"It's fine. We're just happy you came," Elena said, trying to control her excitement at seeing him.

"Are you kidding me? You saved my life! Thank you!" Bonnie said, giving Damon a big hug.

After Bonnie walked back towards the car to pull the switch, Elena saw Damon look at her. "How about you? No thank you kiss?"

"Thank you Damon, really." She looked into his eyes and moved closer to him until she was only a few inches away, earning a slightly surprised look from Damon. But then she stopped suddenly and said, "But that's all you're getting."

The surprised face melted off and he seemed to relax back into his normal cockiness. "For now?" Damon asked cheekily. Elena just shook her head, laughing at him and moving away for her own good. Just then, Caroline came out and by the look at her expression Elena knew that her appreciation wasn't _only_ pointed at the fact that they were finally able to leave.

"Hi!" Caroline tried to say over the roar of the cars passing by. Elena saw her look at him appreciatively.

"Hey." Damon just glanced up for a second before filling the tank in with the gas can. Caroline signaled for Elena to get back in the car with her.

"What the hell, Elena?" Caroline said slapping her arm.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me that this guy is beyond hot?"

"Umm…I don't know."

"He looks like a freaking model!" Caroline fanned herself. "Or a greek god. I've never seen anyone like him."

"It's just Damon," Elena said, slightly amused by Caroline's reaction. "Stefan's brother." Those words have practically been the theme of her life, but she'd never been able to actually believe them. Damon was definitely something else, but she wasn't about to let Caroline know that.

"I am gonna sleep with that guy. That's my life goal," Caroline said looking at him through the window. Elena felt something clasp in her chest at her friend's words. No! No. She is not jealous. She took a moment to push down those damn feelings again and took a look at Caroline who suddenly exclaimed, "We have to invite him."

"What? Where?"

"To the fair! Come on."

"No! I left the house for a reason."

"You mean, you've been _living_ with that guy?" Caroline asked incredulously, her eyes bugging out. Elena just nodded, not being able to help the annoyance creeping inside her at Caroline's newly found infatuation. However, she didn't really know if the negative feelings were aimed at Caroline or herself for reacting like _this_ when she really had no reason to. "Oh my god. If you're not gonna jump his bones, then I will." Caroline stepped out of the car before Elena could stop her. She only watched their interaction through the window, but she looked away as soon as it became obvious that he was flirting back with her. _Does he like her? No. He flirts with everybody, even if he doesn't like them. I mean obviously, since he so openly flirts with _me_ even though I _know_ he doesn't look at me that way. What? Why am I even talking about this? I don't care. I_ don't_ care. They can get together. Whatever._

Elena shook her head to clear her thoughts. _I don't care_. She walked outside then to see what was going on.

"Problem fixed. Ta Da!" Damon said.

"Thank you SO much," Caroline said pulling Damon in for a hug that was a second longer than necessary. Bonnie gave Elena a look, which she returned with full conviction.

"Yeah thank you Damon for coming last minute," Elena finally said.

"I told you, Elena," he said, his cerulean eyes meeting hers. "Anytime."

Suddenly, Caroline chirped up, "Soooo you wanna come with us? I mean it's the least we can do to repay you. I have a free admission ticket."

"Well, if it's alright with you guys. I wouldn't want to impose," Damon said in a tone meaning that he totally intended to impose.

"It's fine with me," Bonnie said. They looked at Elena who suddenly felt pressured by all the stares.

"Yes, Damon. You can come," she said exasperatedly.

"So, it's settled then. I'll just meet you there," Damon said walking back towards his car.

The drive second time around wasn't as much fun as the first, due to the fact that most of it was spent with Caroline's gushing. All she talked about was Damon. Damon, Damon, Damon. And it annoyed her to say the least, but she didn't say anything except for the simple 'yes' or 'no' or 'yeah go for it. Why would I mind?' when it came to Caroline's questions. She tried to fight all the negative feelings aimed at her friend, she really did. But all the questions were just grating on her nerves like no other.

Elena practically ripped the door open when they finally reached their destination. She glanced at Caroline who was still in the car, trying to drown herself in lipgloss and mascara. "You look fine, Care. Come on."

Elena walked over to Bonnie. "Are you okay? I know how much you like him," Bonnie said.

"What? I don't." Elena looked down, unable to face her friend. She never had been able to look people in the eyes whenever she tried to lie. A fact that Bonnie clearly knew by the way she was looking at her.

"Really?" Bonnie said sarcastically.

"I mean…I'm over it. We're just not meant together. We never were, I accepted it already," Elena said, trying to swallow her negative feelings. "I think he and Caroline would make a good couple, actually."

"Oh well, then that's good since Caroline's running over to him right now." Bonnie said pointing at their blonde friend practically prancing over to Damon's car which just pulled up.

_Damn. It's gonna be a long night._ Elena thought, walking over to the couple.

* * *

><p>"It's 9:05 right now, so we have like less than three hours. Where do you guys wanna go first?" Bonnie asked.<p>

"I really, really want to go to those scary ride things." Caroline said, smiling up at Damon. Elena knew what was going through Caroline's mind. It would be the perfect opportunity to snuggle up to him, without it seeming _too _forward. But then again, Caroline didn't really care whether she was being too forward or not.

"Alright, where is that?" Bonnie asked slowly while they continued walking, just then Caroline 'tripped' and Damon had to grasp her in order to prevent her fall.

"Oh, thank you," Caroline said, still not letting go of his arm. He grinned at her, helping her stand up. Elena watched the whole ordeal take place and realized then, that she couldn't take it. Not this time around. She was so sick of feeling jealous, and not being able to do anything about it. First she had subjected herself to watching him with Katherine for _years_ and not really having any choice but to be okay with it. But not anymore. She's grown up, dammit. She's not about to go back there. Plus, how the hell can she have fun when she knows that she'd just end up watching them all night long? She can't do it anymore. So she spoke up, "I'm kind of hungry actually. I think I'll hit up the food stands. You guys can go though, I'll just be with Bonnie. We'll see you guys after."

"What? Why?" Damon asked, looking at her with concern. "We can always get something then go."

"No, no. It's fine, really. I-I can't handle those kind of rides anyway. You guys go," Elena said.

"You heard her. Let's go!" Caroline said excitedly pulling Damon forward, while turning back to mouth a 'Thank you' to Elena.

After the two were out of sight, Bonnie turned to her. "What the hell was that?"

"What? I'm hungry." Elena consciously rubbed her stomach for emphasis as she walked towards the food stand nearby.

"You were practically pushing them together."

"I'm helping a friend out. That's what friends do," Elena said quietly.

"No. You are being a martyr. Come on, I know you want him. Do something about it! Be prepared to either give in or leave him alone, because I can see how tortured you are right now being in this in-between place."

"I wish it was that easy, Bonnie. I _can't_ give in. You know that. And I can't seem to leave him alone either. This might sound cheesy but it's like my mind and my heart are separated when it comes to him. I can't do it."

"Yes, you can Elena! You have to. How about tonight, we avoid them. And after that just don't talk to him. Don't even look at him if you can help it. Alright? Not until your feelings are gone, if that's really the path that you choose. Plus you still have Stefan. Do you even like him anymore?"

"Yes! Of course," Elena said abruptly. But then she sighed and continued, "I don't know. My feelings are confusing right now. Especially since he decided to ditch me tonight. I don't even know if he still likes _me_ anymore. But you're right. No more Damon, then. Once and for all."

"Okay," Bonnie smiled. "Now let's go get those funnel cakes."

* * *

><p>Elena was impressed with their ability to evade the couple. Not like Caroline was in any hurry to meet up with them anyways. After an hour and a half of walking and rides and a wavering self-discipline, the duo had finally decided to take a break. "I'm so happy we came," Bonnie said smiling. "Are you?"<p>

"Yeah," Elena said slowly. "Yeah, I think I am."

"Awesome. Now hold on a sec, kay? I need to pee." Elena laughed and waited for her friend outside.

Just then, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. "Elena Gilbert?"

She turned to see a man she never thought she'd see again. "Trevor." She felt like running away or at least hiding behind a tree. Trevor and her had almost gone out during the summer before highschool, until he began calling her at least 6 times every day. And after refusing him due to her feelings for Matt at the time, he still persisted. He texted and called incessantly, with Elena getting at least 26 missed calls in one day. She began seeing him in places she went to with her friends, and he often kept trying to talk to her. The moment she saw him standing outside her house was the last straw and she had to tell her Uncle John about it, who threatened him with a restraining order, which never came to fruition since he ended up moving away anyway. His face still gave her the chills sometimes.

"Wow," he looked her over, practically undressing her with his eyes which made her feel extremely, extremely uncomfortable.

"Yeah," Elena tapped her foot, looking around for Bonnie.

"Well how have you been, Elena?"

"I'm good. Same old, same old."

"Good." There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence before Trevor spoke up. "Hey…can I have your number?'

And there it is. "Sorry Trevor, I have a boyfriend," she tried to say as politely as possible, while feeling a huge aversion to him and his sticky stare.

"What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm trying to get back with you? I just want to hang out. Wow you assume way too much," Trevor began to rant angrily, surprising Elena.

"What the hell? Calm down. I didn't even say anything about that," Elena said defensively.

"You thought it though."

"Uh. I honestly didn't. All I said was that I have a boyfriend."

"Well if you didn't want me to have your number then you could just say no. You don't have to pretend you have a boyfriend, when you don't." Elena couldn't believe the nerve of this guy.

"You know what fine! Whatever," Elena turned around but he grabbed a hold of her arm.

"Hey, we were talking." Trevor said, as he grasped on pulling her back to face him. She tried to jerk her hand away, but his grip was too tight.

Elena was about to reply in anger before she felt someone's presence behind her.

"Let go." Elena suddenly looked up at the sound of Damon's voice, so filled with menace that it took her a bit off guard.

Trevor let go of her arm, a bit hesitantly. "Chill out, man. We're just talking."

"Well stop. She clearly doesn't want to talk to you anymore," He pulled her closer to his side.

Elena's mouth was open, surprised at this aggressive side of Damon. "Is _this_ your boyfriend?" Trevor asked, his initial fear seeming to have worn off.

Elena was at a loss for words. "Uh…"

"Yeah. So back off." Damon said putting an arm around her waist. Elena looked to see Trevor's reaction, she was still reeling. Everything was happening too fast.

"Well, fuck you man," Trevor spitted out.

Elena could feel Damon tense so she leaned into him and said, "Don't. He's not worth it."

Damon nodded as he kept his arm around her, leading them away. Elena knew that Trevor was still looking however so she decided to stay in his arms. "What is he doing?"

Damon looked back. "Standing there. Being a creeper and looking at us. He's lucky I didn't have a chance to rip his head off."

Elena was continuously being surprised at his level of protectiveness. But she tried not to let it flatter her. "Come on, let's keep going then."

"Where are we going?" Damon asked.

"I don't know."

"The ferris wheel is ahead. Let's go. We'll probably lose him there."

"Wait…shouldn't we wait for Bonnie and Caroline? Where is Caroline anyway?"

"She went to the bathroom, I was waiting for her when I saw you."  
>"Oh, okay. I'll tell them where we'll be then," Elena said as she pulled her phone out to text her friends.<p>

"Do you really want to wait though? Looks like that dick is coming over here."

Elena panicked, as she looked up and saw Trevor stalking towards them. "Okay, let's go! Let's go!"

Damon laughed and moved his hand to intertwine with hers as she fast-walked to get to the moving line to the Ferris wheel around the corner. For just a moment Elena decided to play pretend. _So this is what it feels like to be Damon Salvatore's girlfriend. _And she laughed along with him, really enjoying the feel of his hand on hers. And in that instance all thought of ignoring him or even Trevor had gone out the window, and it was just them. Damon and Elena. No obnoxious friends, no absent boyfriend, no fucked up family, no problems, no worries, no crippling sadness. Just them.

However, Trevor coming around the corner shattered her peace. And it brought her back to the reality that it was all a façade. It was a relief however, that all he did was look at their intertwined hands, before finally walking away probably finally believing that Elena did in fact, have a boyfriend. She let out a sigh, knowing that the charade was up. He gave her hand a squeeze, and she returned it with a smile as she reluctantly attempted to disentangle their hands, before he stopped her. "Wait. I like this," he whispered in her ear.

She looked up at him then, unable to stand it anymore. "Me too," she replied quietly. _Fuck it,_ she thought. _Maybe I just need to get a taste. Maybe that's all I've ever wanted, and after that I can finally be able to get over him. _She saw in his expression that she had probably taken him off guard, but she didn't really care anymore.

Caroline and Bonnie appeared a few minutes later, forcing Elena to let go of him. She flinched at Caroline's pissed expression. The two tried to cut through the line in order to get to the front where Elena and Damon stood, but the angry remarks from the people in line halted them. Elena mouthed a 'Sorry' to Caroline before the ticket man had to let them get on.

After sitting down on the cool, metal seats, it had been quiet at first, and Elena looked at Damon who seemed to be deep in thought. Oddly, she was at peace. She expected bouncing emotions within her at her somewhat confirmation that she was actually feeling something for him. But she found that she was just nervous, not really knowing if what she said weighed anything in his mind. So she just decided to enjoy the view, waiting for him to break the silence. And just as she expected, he spoke up first. "I know you lied, earlier."

"What?" She asked.

"Earlier. When you said you couldn't handle the scary rides."

"And how would you know that?"

"You _really_ don't remember, do you?" He said, echoing her words from The Grill.

"Remember what?" Elena asked warily.

"We came here already."

"What? No. I think I'd remember."

"It was around the time Katherine and I started dating. You were probably uhm…ten? I think?" Damon chuckled. "You were so excited to get into the scary maze. You practically dragged us in."

"No!" Elena said thinking back. She recalled bits and pieces of the memory, but it seemed so distant. However the image of Damon and Katherine fighting by the scarecrow suddenly showed itself to the forefront of her mind. "Wait…Was that here?" she asked incredulously.

"Yup. It's the Grove Hill Fair. I remembered as soon as you gave me the address."

"Oh...wow. " Elena said, feeling a bit embarrassed at being caught in her lie. "Well people change. I guess all the scary faces got to my psyche."

"Or… people lie." Damon clearly didn't believe her. "So tell me, Elena. Why did you want to get away from us so badly?"

Elena scoffed. "And who said that I was trying to get away from you?"

"I never said _me_. I said _us._" He grinned at her.

"That's what I meant," Elena said refusing to melt under his gaze.

Damon rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. "Well why else did you guys keep making up excuses for not being able to meet up? I mean, come on. You could've just told us you wanted to separate, you know. "

"Well, to be honest…" Elena began, preparing to tell him her deepest and darkest feelings. But, she chickened out. "Caroline likes you. I just wanted to give her the chance. I thought you liked her too so…I decided to help you guys out." Damon laughed. "What's so funny?"

"I was just being nice. I came here for you," he said suddenly.

She was speechless for a second, taking in his words. So he came here for _her_. Just for her. She attempted to refrain herself from jumping up and down on her seat. The only thing she was able to manage was, "Oh. Why?"

"I told you I was gonna take you out. And when you texted me the address to the Grove Hill Fair, I thought that it was the perfect chance."

Elena really didn't know what to say. The only think she could think of was something heartfelt and she didn't know if it was the time to tell him so she settled for, "Well, I'm sorry then. That I ruined your plans."

"It's alright. I guess you're just gonna have to make it up to me then," he said nonchalantly, putting his arms above his head.

"And what do you have in mind?" she asked.

"Hmm…how about that 'Thank You' kiss?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"In your dreams Salvatore," she said playfully, and he gave her a pouty face. "Yup. Can't make me."

"I accept your challenge," he said looking at her. He then began swaying the seat back and forth dangerously.

"Stop!" Elena shrieked, holding onto him.

"Make me," he said, challenging her as he bounced more, causing their seat to teeter. Elena looked down towards some of the people, who seemed to be looking up at all the commotion.

"Fine! Just stop!" Elena said, stilling Damon's movements. "Close your eyes." He faced her then and slowly closed his eyes, amusement coloring his features. Elena looked at him then, his lips practically begging to be kissed. But instead she opted for a safer place. As she was getting nearer however, she saw him peek at her. "Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry," he said before shutting his eyes again, a smile playing on his lips. She chuckled at his adorableness, before sobering up enough to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"There," she said triumphantly. "You're thank you kiss."

"Oh come on. I _know_ you can do better than that."

"You asked for a kiss, and I gave you a kiss."

Damon sighed, "Fine." The two then settled for a comfortable silence, fully appreciating the view now that they were nearly at the top. And Elena took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. Everything just seemed so perfect. The lights of the city were twinkling beneath them, with only the moon and the soft glow from the Ferris wheel lights, illuminating Damon's perfect face. She leaned into him unconsciously, searching out the warmth of his body against her. She memorized this moment, and she planned to keep it with her forever, no matter what happens. She suddenly felt him slide his hand on hers, until their fingers were intertwined again. And she didn't really have the strength at the moment to push him away and break her beautiful peace. It was a silent gesture causing butterflies at the pit of her stomach.

"Thank you, Damon. For everything today. For the planning, the gas…Trevor. I don't know what I would have done," she said, facing him.

"You're welcome Elena," was all he said. But Elena thought that it was more of the way he said it. He said it so seriously, without a trace of his usual mask of humor. His beautiful blue eyes looking at her with such openness. It was as if for once since he came back, she was finally able to see the real him. They continued looking at each other, the air between them seemingly so charged with some unseen electrical energy that Elena really couldn't help what came after.

She leaned in, waiting for him to stop her or push her away but it never came, the only thing meeting her was his eyes which seemed to darken when he realized her intention. It was like there was an invisible pull in that tentative moment when their lips met. And it was as if time stopped, and the butterflies went crazy. Her mind was just swimming in the overload of senses. But the feel of his rough hand slowly lingering on the soft curve of her cheek jostled her to reality and she pulled back, ending it quickly before it even really began. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't…I didn't mean—" But she was silenced by his lips as it crashed into hers once more, and this time it was as if all her restraint had broken. It was the final straw and she felt herself giving in to the feelings he poured into her. And she gave back as good as she got, truly releasing every bit of forbidden thought inside her head through their locked lips, hoping that even though her words wouldn't—couldn't ever express the way he made her feel, this one kiss might. Their feverous lips gradually evolved into these slow, drugging kisses as if they were both trying to savor it as much as they could before the inevitable ending. And Elena really never wanted it to end, it felt like being drunk and feeling just so happy and blissful and carefree in that moment, but somehow innately knowing that there's still a tomorrow where you have to wake up and face reality.

And reality she realized was coming too fast in the form of the descending ride, as the racket of oblivious voices and the noises of the distant and forgotten arcades slowly began to replace the peaceful blanket that being suspended in the night air had given them.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews last chapter by the way :)<br>And please continue to divulge your thoughts, I enjoy them verrry much. Plus, the more the reviews the more motivated I am to continue writing. Oh! And we'll get a little bit of Damon's POV next chapter. ;)**

**What do you guys think though?  
><strong>


	7. Loaded Thoughts

"Geez, thanks for ditching us," Caroline said her arms folded tightly across her chest, a betrayed look hardening her once vibrant eyes as the couple made their way towards the two girls. Elena kept quiet, the feeling of Damon's lips on hers still lingering on her mind. She focused on the feeling, still trying to believe that it actually happened. While simultaneously attempting to _not think_ in order to stave off the impending guilt threatening the outskirts of her mind.

Bonnie looked at both of them curiously, sensing the change in the air. "Are you guys, okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Elena said in a clipped voice. She was torn between a million thoughts. _What did I just do? Holy shit, I just kissed Damon Salvatore. Damon – freakin- Salvatore. I can't even believe it. This makes no sense. This is my daydreams coming into reality. Damon, _Stefan_'s brother, Damon. Fuck. I just kissed my boyfriend's brother. I should be punished. I'm just like Katherine. I'm horrible. I'm a horrible, horrible person. But…but it was so amazing. How can it ever be wrong, when it was that good? _

"Sure?" Bonnie asked, shaking Elena out of her thoughts.

"Yes," Elena said with a forced chuckle. "We're fine." She forced her eyes to look at Damon, who was uncharacteristically quiet beside her. She half expected him to make some cocky comment about not being able to resist him, or anything else but _this_. His silence made her feel apprehensive; it added a certain sort of gravity of realty between them that would normally be relieved by a comment from him. But those annoying, endearing little quips never came, making way for that gravity to settle heavily between them. "…right, Damon?" she finally pushed herself to say.

He looked at her, a smirk forming on the corner of his lips. _Ahh, there it is._ "Oh, we're more than fine," he said smoothly, in that suggestive tone of his, quickly earning looks from Bonnie and Caroline. Elena would've elbowed him if it wasn't for the slightly strained way in which he said it. Or the faraway look in his eyes. Any other person may not have picked up on it, but Elena could feel that it took more from him to brush it off than he let on.

* * *

><p>"Soo… what were you and Damon doing all night?" Bonnie asked lightly, breaking the tense silence which enveloped them as soon as the car doors were shut. For a moment Elena panicked, her guilty mind trying to wrack up some excuse before Caroline spoke up.<p>

"Nothing. Nothing, interesting anyway. We just rode rides, walked around. The usual. He didn't even get my number."

"Really? I'm surprised _you_ didn't ask him."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway does it? How about you, Elena? What were you and Damon doing all night?" Caroline asked bitterness dripping from her voice.

"Caroline, please," Elena pleaded, not in the mood to get in another scuffle with her.

"I can't believe you."

"What are you talking about?" Elena asked exasperatedly, Caroline's accusatory tone rubbing off on her, dampening any good feelings she had from the kiss.

"I get it. You're mad at me. But I just think it's pretty messed up telling me I can 'go for it' when there's obviously something going on between you guys," Caroline finally said, her anger breaking out of its confines.

"Wh-Why would you think that?" Elena asked, we're they really that obvious? Had she seen them on the Ferris Wheel?

"Come on, I'm not stupid. He was itching to get back to you and Bonnie. Then you and him just leave off as soon as we turn around."

Elena gave a huge sigh, her head in her hands as if doing so would somehow ease the flow of thoughts bombarding her. "Trevor was there, okay? He had to pretend to be Stefan, to get him to let go of me because Trevor wouldn't believe that I had a boyfriend. We were trying to get away from him. It wasn't some conspiracy to hurt you, okay? I would never do that."

"Well, you did," Caroline said, however her words lacked a bit of the fire which it held earlier.

"Then, I'm sorry you got hurt. Alright? …I-I didn't mean to."

Caroline had remained silent for a long moment that Elena thought that she was finished there. However Caroline spoke up once more, "So there's really nothing between you and Damon?"

Elena opened her mouth, but her mind went blank; teetering among the many possible responses to that particular question. She was saved however by Bonnie who decided to speak up, "Wait a second, Trevor was there? Your stalker?"

Elena let out a breath, thanking god for Bonnie for saving her. She then replayed the event, while of course omitting every sweet moment between Damon and her. And by the end of it all, to Elena's relief, Caroline hadn't brought up the incident at the fair anymore, opting instead to talk about other meaningless subjects to which Elena hadn't cared for. And before she could help it, she found herself slowly transporting back to that scene with _him_ on the Ferris wheel.

* * *

><p>After a quick goodbye at Bonnie's house, Elena found herself reluctantly returning back to the boarding house, where Damon would inevitably be waiting. She fought to stifle the fluttering in her heart and her stomach's nervous quivering during that tumultuous drive back home, not really knowing what would take place once she reached her destination.<p>

She hesitated at the front door for just a second, bracing herself for whatever may come. Once entering, she heard clattering coming from the kitchen, and after a deep breath she found herself marching in that direction, a surge of urgency making its way through her at the prospect of just getting that unavoidable talk out of the way. But as soon as she entered the archway, Stefan's appearance froze her steps, a fresh wave of guilt dissipating whatever fire she held in her demeanor earlier.

"Ahh there she is," he said, keys still jangling in his hands. Elena's eyes made its way from her boyfriend's innocently cheerful face to his sitting contrary in the form of Damon, with his black hair casting a shadow on his face and his hand with its loose grasp on the ice cold beer resting on the table. He looked up then and they locked eyes for just a second, a knowing look passing between them. She tore her gaze away from him and back to Stefan. "How was the fair?" he asked. "Damon told me."

"It was fun," Elena said, trying to divulge the minimum amount of information in order for her facts to not clash with something Damon might've already told him. "Did you just get in?" she asked quickly, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "Sorry, I know you wanted me to come earlier."

Guilt surged through her again at his remorseful expression. "No, it's totally fine."

"No it's not," he said and gestured for her to come closer, a playful look gleaming in his dark brown eyes. "How about I make it up to you?" A grin spread across his face as he wrapped her arms around her waist.

Elena pressed his palms against his chest to push him gently away and gestured towards Damon, but it was unnecessary for Damon had already stood up. "Don't mind me," he said a bitter smile on his face as he passed by the couple.

Elena hung her head, feeling even more ashamed. Stefan lifted her chin, "You alright?" She was forced to look up, and she gave a half sort of smile, hoping that it looked a lot less pained than it felt. "Yeah," she said, looking away from him.

"Then come on," he winked, grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs. She tried to pick herself up, she really did, but no matter what she tried to do to focus on the situation at hand it was always Damon's face materializing in her head. The sound of their closing door shook Elena out of her thoughts. Stefan turned then, a devious smile on his lips as he placed both hands on either side of her face, leaning in in order to capture her lips. But before he could reach them, her head turned quickly to side seemingly of its own accord.

"What's wrong?" he asked, a slightly hurt look gracing his features.

"Nothing, it's just been a long night is all."

Stefan let out a huge sigh and let his hands go limp on his sides. "Alright." He let go of her then and walked away and into the bathroom silently. Elena sat on the soft covers of his king-sized bed, feeling as if something switched inside of her. She looked at the sheets, once a place of comfort and sanctity, but now she felt as if she has no right to be even near it. But, nonetheless she took off her sneakers and made her way beneath its mocking covers, barely acknowledging the slight tip of the bed indicating Stefan's presence as she let her eyes close, hoping for the comfort of sleep to calm her turbulent thoughts. But the comfort never came. She couldn't help the incessant thoughts in her head, the turmoil inside of her preventing her from any type of desperate peace that she hoped to achieve. After countless minutes of tossing and turning, to the point where Stefan had actually let go of her in order to turn to the less chaotic part of the bed, Elena finally opened her eyes. She sat up, finally deciding to go downstairs and get herself a glass of warm milk hoping that it would somehow aid her.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile downstairs...<em>

Damon's mind was swimming; thoughts, feelings, all jumbled up inside his head mixed around and dulled by the beautiful amber colored liquid in his crystal-cut glass. He liked this. Being numb, being free, whatever you call it. Letting himself go, and for once not being pulled down by the weight of his own solitude. He was happy. Even if it was an artificial happiness, he still indulged in it. But even in the haze of his grateful confusion, a stubborn feeling was still cutting through. However, before he could make sense of what this feeling was, the sound of padded footsteps jostled him out of his mind. He turned around and saw _her_, probably at the same time she saw him by the way her footsteps suddenly came to a halt, before proceeding once again a few seconds later. "Hey," he said as he gave her one of his patented smirks.

"Hi." She averted her gaze away from him as she walked in the kitchen with hurried steps. Damon turned his face back to the crackling fire in front of him, feeling it's warmth on his skin. _So that's it?_ Did it really mean nothing to her? The way that she fucked with his brain and turned his world askew with that one pathetic, mind-blowing kiss? He let a small, humorless chuckle out. Why is she still awake, anyway?

He stood up, it was a clumsy gesture but he was somehow able to make his way to the archway connecting the hall and the kitchen. He watched her, just like he had that afternoon when she was so busily laboring over her sandwich, wearing those shorts that made him so damn crazy, that he had to physically calm himself down before he could trust himself near her. He could see her shoulders tense as she poured herself a glass of milk, her movements becoming more mechanical, before she turned to him. "Damon."

"Shush, shush. Little brother might be listening," he said a goofy smile on his face as he pointed his finger up, and walked closer to her, stumbling a little bit on the way.

Elena watched him warily. "He's asleep."

Damon raised his eyebrows. "Hmm…I see." He sauntered nearer. "Guess we should talk then." He placed a hand on the counter, trapping her.

"Damon, you're – you're not yourself right now," she began, her brows furrowed as her eyes tried to find something else to latch on to besides his own. Her concerned face struck something inside of him, as if they were invisible hands grabbing him from his self-induced intoxication pulling him back to reality. Back to caring. She always had that effect on him and it pissed him off like no other. But this time he refused, this was a conversation best had during a time like this. During a time when whatever blow she would give him would only hit the padding of alcohol which surrounded him. If only he had this convenience when he dealt with that other brunette with the same molten chocolate eyes, seemingly forever ago.

Damon threw his head back in laughter, "This is the only time I'm completely myself. Come on, Elena. Don't you want to get inside my head? Don't you want to know my secrets?" He trailed his thumb down the side of her chin eventually making its way to her plump lower lip. He heard the hitch in her breath, and he saw the way her eyes fluttered close before she slowly pulled his hand away.

"Damon. You…You _know_ we can't," she stepped out of his hold, grabbing her glass on the counter behind her. "I'll just…I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

He turned around and watched her leave, that persistent feeling in his chest somehow sinking deeper with every step she took towards his brother's room. But before being completely out of sight she looked back at him, her gaze containing such a mixture of longing and heartbreak that he wasn't sure if he'd only imagined it. But he didn't have the time to look again before she turned back around. He sighed, walking back to take his place on the couch as if nothing happened, yet in reality it was like she opened a dam inside of him that he'd been spending years to build and he couldn't help but wallow in the flow of feelings rushing forth. The alcohol acting as a double-edged sword as it prevented him from completely stifling it.

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><p><strong>It's a bit of a filler chapter really, since I felt bad about not updating quicker. The continuation of this chapter was taking a bit longer than I planned, so I decided to post this part. :) I hope you don't get mad at me at the lack of action, all in due time. ;)<strong>

**Next chapter is Stefan's long awaited twentieth birthday. :D **You think she should tell Stefan about the 'incident' ? Or leave it as is? What would_ you_ do in this situation? Should she give in to Damon? Should Damon give in to her? Oh, so many questions.****

**Please though, review. review, review, review. Make me feel horrible about not updating faster. :P**


	8. Happy Birthday, Stefan

**Author's Note: **Sorrrrrry it's taken me sooooooo long to update. Ever since school began, I've been dying under the pressure of 3 AP Classes and job that I just recently got. :( So yeah, I pretty much have no life right now. But that doesn't matter as long there's Delena, right? Haha anyways, after weeks of labor I have finally managed to have enough time to push this liddle chapter out to ya'll. (:

Ohp, and if you want a mental image of Elena's dress, I kind of modeled it after one of Nina's. The link is right here, minus all the spaces. :) www3. pictures. zimbio. com/gi/Nina+Dobrev+2011+InStyle+Warner+Brothers+Golden +5dI5216Xp2gl. jpg

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><p>Elena placed a rebellious hair strand back behind her ear as she took a seat on the smooth leather couch. She ran her eyes over the huge<em> 'Happy Birthday Stefan'<em> banner adorning the wall amongst the multicolored balloons levitating on the ceiling. However, the festive decorations surrounding her still felt empty for some reason. Still looking quite colorful and happy, yet not exactly genuine. The yellows and the reds seemingly duller. Or maybe it was just her that was unsatisfied.

It's been like this, lately. No matter how hard she tried to shake it off. Ever since that night encounter, she'd been avoiding him.

Distractions. That's what her life has become. It was like running on water, and not being able to stop or else she'd fall, so deep within her own damn tangled web. But at the same time, she was just so, so tired.

Maybe this little problem would be solved if they just talked about it.

If only it wasn't so hard.

God only knows how many times she'd passed by this damn couch, while he drank and drank and drank the situation away, just trying to open up her mouth to say something. Anything. _So how about that kiss, huh?_ But every time, she just walked off feeling lower and even more afraid than the last time. So she stopped trying.

She honestly thought that it would be for the good. I mean, it sounded so easy when she and Bonnie were talking about it, why not? Ignore the feelings, ignore the guilt, just live and it'll fade on its own. I mean it has to right?

So for the past two days, she'd barely come home. At least, not when he was there and Stefan wasn't. She opted instead for Bonnie's or even Caroline's or at least any place at all besides with him, because she just couldn't handle it. She didn't want to have to handle that inevitable awkwardness, that's constantly looming above them.

And she'd gone through that plan faithfully. But she couldn't help that stupid feeling of loss nagging at her. Everyday just feels so... ordinary without him. And it seems as if he'd come to the same conclusion, with the way he'd been MIA lately. It was like he could read her mind. But his absence still hasn't changed the way that he seemingly opened up this spot inside of her that she never even knew was empty until he wasn't there to take his usual place in it. She stood up quickly. _Please Brain, will you stop doing that? _she said to herself, probably for the twelfth time that day. She needed another distraction.

As if on cue, the soft chiming of the doorbell startled her out of her musings. _Why are they here so soon?_ She faced the mirror, the sticky residue of sweat still evident on her body, and walked over to the window. A smile suddenly broke out as she saw Bonnie and Caroline talking animatedly on the front porch. Thank goodness.

"Hey guys." Elena said opening the door for. "Why are you here so early?"

"Well we thought you might need help," Bonnie said.

"And we were bored," Caroline added.

"Oh! Of course. That's the only way you guys would actually come and help me."

"You know us!" Caroline said as she and Bonnie entered, the laughter of the three pouring in, adding that extra zest that the house seemed to be missing.

"Where's Damon?" Bonnie asked, warily giving Elena that knowing look, which she pretended not to see.

"I honestly have no idea," Elena said. "He ditched me."

"You did a good job without him though! This place looks amazing," Caroline exclaimed after plopping down on the couch, looking around at all the colorful decorations surrounding them, until finally landing on Elena. "Wait, you're not really wearing _that_, are you?"

"What's so bad about it?" Elena said, looking down at her baggy sweats and cami.

"Really?"

"No! I still have to get ready later."

"Good," Caroline laughed.

"How about Stefan? Where is he?" asked Bonnie.

"He's not coming til seven, so we have like four more hours."

"Awesome!" Caroline said. "But you invited us to come at six?"

"I did."

"Wait, what did Stefan think about all this?"

"Actually, I was getting to that. I realized this morning that I haven't even told him about the party."

Caroline's mouth gaped. "You didn't tell him about his own party?"

"My mind's been scattered lately. But it works out though, because it could be like a surprise party you know?"

"Oh my gosh! That would be so much fun!"

"Yeah, I thought so. I mean even if he already guessed that there's probably gonna be a get together here, it's worth a try. I actually took his house keys. That way he'll have to ring the doorbell to get inside. Around 6:50 we can start watching who comes in and stuff. But before that, I still need to vacuum and dust and fix this place up."

"Let's do it then!" Bonnie said standing up. "So we can start partying!"

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><p>Damon was sitting at the bar again, for what is it-the third... fourth time in the past three days? Or maybe some would argue that it'd only been once because he never really left after the first, the dingy bedrooms upstairs proved to be a very good escape from his own personal self-torture that is Stefan and Elena. Just as he gestured for another glass of beer, his cellphone began ringing.<em> "<em>Hey, Damon," said the familiar female voice on the other line.

"Hey, Andie." he mumbled back at her.

"Damon, are you drunk?"

"No, not at all."

"Well you don't sound very happy."

"I'm not."

"What's wrong?"  
>"Do you <em>really<em> wanna know?"

"Sure."

"Well, I kissed my baby brother's girlfriend," Damon said with a haughtiness that he didn't really feel.

Silence met him on the other line, before she said, "You would."

Damon laughed, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I know you, Damon… And so does Amber and Anna and Bree and Emily and—"

"But this is different."

"Only because she's with your brother? I'm pretty sure you've stolen girls plenty -"

"No. It has nothing to do with that. She's just…" Damon wanted to tell Andie about everything that made Elena _different_, he wanted tell her how addicted he was to her laugh and the odd effect she has on him, but then he remembered that he was here to forget. "…different."

"Oh, wow is Damon Salvatore actually falling in love?" Andie fake gasped. Damon rolled his eyes.

Damon scoffed loudly. "I don't do love."

"Oh, right. I forgot. Well what happened? What did she say? What did your brother do?"

"Well Stefan isn't finding out. And I'm pretty sure Elena would rather stab herself than talk to me about it, by the way she's avoiding me."

"Are you serious? So you're just gonna let it pass?"

"Why not? I don't give a fuck anymore."

"I seriously doubt that. I say talk to her."

"And create a bigger mess? Yeah…no."

Andie laughed all of a sudden. "I cannot believe I'm actually giving dating advice to THE Damon Salvatore. Well, you should because you want to right? What's stopping you?"

"I don't know. It's easier like this."

"Is it? Is it really?"

Damon knew the answer but he opted to not say it. "You know my style, Andie. I don't _talk_."

"You don't do love, you don't talk. Maybe you should start then. I mean, if she's really worth that much to you."

"I already know her answer."

"No you don't. Not unless you ask."

"So, why did you call again?" Damon was tired of talking about his problems, he just wanted to get away and revert back to the beautiful blanket of alcohol. "Problems with Monica?" Damon asked, knowing that mentioning Andie's long-term girlfriend was going to distract her from his business.

"Well since you're so keen to get to the point, I called because I need your packet now. Klaus has been ragging on me to finish that damn article, but you know I can't without your side of the research."

"I know, I know. I told you I'd be back."

"Can't you send it to me?"

"We can't afford losing all the information."

"But damn it, when are you coming back then?"

"I don't know…Two something weeks from now."

"Really, Damon? When is your brother's birthday anyway?"

"January 27."

"Uhm, today?"

"No, it's the 26th."

"No, Damon it's the 27th," Andie pressed. "Wow. This girl is really messing with your mind isn't she?"

Damon pulled the cellphone back, and watched with panic as the words 'Jan 27' glowed on the small screen. "Fuck! Shit! Andie I have to go."

"Okay, but hurry up with the—" Damon closed his phone. This whole Elena business has messed with his mind more than he thought it did. He stood up quickly, teetering for a small fraction in his slightly intoxicated state, but still managing to drive home. Home. God, he didn't want to see her face. He didn't want to feel anymore. The image of Elena's lips on his brother, was enough to make sure of that. That was supposed to be him. It was like he was back in the carpeted room walking upon Katherine and Mason's betrayal all over again, and he _hated_ –absolutely fucking _hated_ that feeling more than he hated anything else. And damn it, he's not going back there again. He didn't want to see her after that. He never wanted to see her. He needed for this to go away, for his own mental state. He needed to stop wanting her. Not only for his sake but for the sake of his relationship with his brother which had already been skating on thin ice ever since his last disastrous visit all those years ago.

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><p>Elena's hands fumbled with the mascara as she attempted to briskly sweep it on her long lashes. Stefan would be home any minute now, and she was barely done with her make-up. A loud knock resounded on her door.<p>

"Elena! Are you ready?" Elena barely heard Caroline's muffled voice, combined with the loud music which thrummed through the whole house.

"Uh, yeah!" Elena said, slipping on her suede pumps.

"Come on! Bonnie's already told everyone to hide!" Caroline yelled. Elena heard the music fade away, meaning that all the guests have probably already retreated to their hiding places. "OH! I met this really cute guy downstairs by the way!"

"Really?" Elena chuckled amusedly as she looked at herself appreciatively in the mirror. She had slipped on a shiny silver dress which was a little bit too conspicuous for her normally reserved tastes, but had to admit that she loved the way it held on to her curves. Stefan would be happy, she said to herself, ignoring the way she imagined those sparkling blue eyes would light up if he saw her too.

"Yeah! You have to meet him!" Elena laughed, it is so like Caroline to broadcast her feelings to the world. She shook her head and after a quick application of lipgloss, she finally opened the door.

Caroline gasped, looking her over. "Elena! Is that you? Hot Damn!"

Elena smiled modestly. "Thanks."

"No really. You should seriously, seriously considering wearing that everyday." Elena laughed. "I'll tell you about the guy later, kay? But come on! Come on! It's almost 7! We're all waiting."

"Alright," Elena smiled as Caroline left her side to go behind the wall. Maybe after a few drinks she can begin to have fun again. "So everyone! Don't come out until I say, alright?" Her voice reverberated off the walls, hopefully reaching all the guests. She couldn't help but grin in excitement, as she made her way down the stairs, waiting for the doorbell to signify the birthday boy's arrival. But to her alarm, before she could do anything, the doorknob began to turn.

_What the hell?_

* * *

><p>Damon berated himself for forgetting. He was supposed to help Elena fix the house, what an asshole thing to forget. But after pulling up to the driveway, he was surprised to find that there were no cars parked in front of the house. Did Elena completely give up on the party, because he wasn't there?<p>

Damon walked up the front steps hoping that he could slip in unnoticed. He took note of the stale quiet surrounding the house. _What's going on_?

He opened the door slowly and stepped in, looking around at the brightly decorated living room. _Where's everybody?_ He was so deeply imbedded in his thoughts however, that he almost missed her voice.

"Damon?" His head turned quickly at the woman standing on the stairs.

_Well why don't you just fuck me sideways._

He honestly forgot how to breathe for that slight second when his cerulean eyes met her chocolate ones. She was standing on the steps, her hair swept back into beautiful curls, warm skin complementing the golden shimmer of that damn dress which might as well have been painted on her with the way it molded to every curve of that damn body. He wanted _nothing _more than to run up those steps and ravish her with all he had. God, he missed her. And it scared him more than anything_. _He looked away. Fuck it, why is she so beautiful? And right then, he knew he needed to get it out now. They _needed_ to talk about it, because her inevitable rejection is necessary to keep his feelings from growing. And he just really, really didn't want to go back there again.

He spoke slowly, as if weighing the impact of every forthcoming word. "Elena. We need to talk about what happe—"

Damon saw Elena's eyes widen suddenly, realizing what he was gonna say, but he didn't care anymore. Maybe he even wanted her to hate him, it would make it easier on both. But her next words weren't what he was expecting at all.

"Guys! Come out! It's not Stefan!" she suddenly yelled, her voice slightly shaky.

Damon looked at her questioningly, and watched with alarm as one by one everyone began pouring out from their hiding places.

_What the hell is going on?_

* * *

><p>Elena barely registered the disappointed grumblings which surrounded her, the heat on her face still burning her skin. "Why'd you tell everyone to come out? Aren't we waiting for Stefan to come?" Caroline asked, as she came out of her hiding place.<p>

"U-uhm no..er..yeah. Well we can just listen for the doorbell. So that way we don't have to wait it out," Elena said. "We can always turn the music on low."

"Okay.." Caroline said, hesitantly leaving her to turn up the stereo. Elena's eyes returned to scan the crowd for Damon. She found him still rooted to the spot, a petite red-head whom she didn't remember inviting attempting to introduce herself to him, however it was as if he felt her stare because he glanced back up at her, fire burning so hotly in his eyes that it forced Elena to look away lest it burn her.

She walked back to her room, and straight to the mirror. _Why does he always affect her like this? _

The sound of footsteps neared the door and she quickly picked up a make-up brush, trying to look busy. The door opened slowly, to reveal the very man she had been dwelling on. She felt her hand still for a second as she watched him close the door behind him before she flicked her eyes back to the mirror trying to ignore the sudden tingling on her skin.

"What...What do you want Damon?" she said, trying so, so hard to act normal and to not reveal the way she responded to him.

She eyed him from the mirror as he wordlessly stepped closer to her, heightening her anxiety with every step he took. She finally turned to him, her brush forgotten on the vanity mirror as her eyes looked at him questioningly. But before she knew it, his hand was on her cheek, and his lips crashing down on hers. She tried to push him away, she really did. The sound of her hands pushing against his chest seemed so far away, but he caught her hands pulling her closer. She felt her resolve breaking with every move of his soft kisses. And it was all going too fast for her mind to process but all she knew was how she felt and the way those velvet lips moved against hers was something that she'd so desperately attempted to forget but really it was futile, she moved his lips against his, their bodies molding together as if they'd been doing this forever. She gasped, he took this opportunity to slide his tongue in her inviting mouth, after a desperate need for air they broke off. His face nuzzling her neck, breathing in her scent. "You," he said breathlessly.

Her heart was going a mile a minute. "You…you can't do that," she said, but he just continued playing small kisses along her neck.

But suddenly the moment was violently shattered as a knock sounded on the door. And they moved as far apart as they could in the moment between the knock and when the door opened to reveal a giggling Caroline holding hands with Tyler. "Oh, whoops!" Caroline jumped in surprise. "This room is occupied."

"What are you guys doing here? The party's downstairs!" Tyler said as Elena watched Caroline gesturing to Tyler mouthing '_This is the guy_'.

"Yeah! Come on guys! We're having so much fun," Caroline said finally laughing.

"Uh…yeah. We're just talking. We'll be down," Elena smiled at Caroline, as she felt her face heat up with the way Tyler looked at her and Damon.

"Alright," Tyler said still throwing them a suspicious glance.

Caroline looked at Elena all of a sudden, "Oh! I thought Stefan was coming at 7? Where is he?" Caroline said.

_Stefan._ Elena completely forgot. "I—I don't know. I…we were just about to call him, actually."

"Ahh okay. Tell him to hurry!" Caroline said her hands grabbing Tyler once again. "Come on! Let's get some more drinks!"

"I thought we were gonna find a room?" Elena heard Tyler say before the door clicked shut, and they were left alone again. Enclosed in their own personal electricity-filled bubble.

"Elena.." Damon began.

"No. No, please stop, Damon," Elena said, taking a step back from him. "Please."

"I can't. I can't stop."

"Yes, you can Damon. We have to."

Damon stepped closer to her, and this time she didn't move, floored by the fire that seemed to burn behind those blue orbs. He grabbed her hand in his. "I…can't, Elena." Elena took a deep breath as she tore her hands from his as she turned away from him.

"Damn it, Damon! Let's just leave it alone."

"I don't want to leave it alone anymore, Elena. I'm done with fucking leaving it alone," he said. "Just stop fighting it."

Elena turned to him all of a sudden. "What about Stefan, Damon? Stefan? Your brother? It's his birthday, for goodness sakes! Let's at least give him this!"

"Don't fucking tell me that like I don't know. You don't think that this isn't killing me too?" he said, anger weaving its way through his voice.

"Then stop! If it's killing you, then stop! Let's just…let's end this now."

There was huge pause before Damon spoke up, his voice low yet the impact so strong that it was as if he yelled it to her face. His voice held so much calmness that it scared her."Tell me you don't care. Tell me you hate me. Tell me to leave you alone. And I will."

"Damon, please don't do this."

"Just say it, Elena."

"I told you already—"

"Then say it, because I can't leave you alone unless I know that you don't feel the same way."  
>Elena looked down, as she took a deep breath in, tears threatening to fall. She has to say it. It's the only way. She wasn't going to be like Katherine and play with people or drag on anymore of this.<p>

So with the lips still burning from their searing kiss, she spoke the words that he wanted to hear. "I…don't care, Damon. I hate you and the way you make me feel. Please…" she sobbed, her heart blocking her throat. "Leave me alone. Just…leave me alone." She couldn't bear to face him, she couldn't bear to see the damage she inflicted, but she didn't need to because his silence alone and the way he stepped back from her spoke volumes.

"Thanks," he said.

After she heard the door close it was as if a dam had broken inside of her, and the tears spilled out. The world downstairs seemingly in another dimension compared to the rain in this room.

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><p>It was nine o'clock. Damon knew because he'd been keeping track of how long it took before Elena finally left the bedroom. He saw her walking down the stairs, a smile plastered on her beautiful face as she greeted the throng of partygoers, but he noticed the slight puffiness in her eyes, the only evidence of anything that had gone on in the room only a couple of hours ago. With luck, everyone would only assume that it was because Stefan hadn't arrived yet and that after the fifteenth false alarm, everyone had just given up.<p>

The girl gyrating her hips in front of him bent down, breaking his gaze.

_Fuck Elena. Fuck them all. He was gonna have a good fucking time damn it. And no pouty lips or doe-eyes is gonna change that. Not anymore. He wouldn't let it. _

He smirked, downing another glass of whiskey as he gave himself over to the beautiful flow of alcohol once more.

The night continued to go on in a haze of people and lips and kisses and laughter. And it went on and on, and he wished it could. The sound of crashing and shouts suddenly breaking it's way through his muddled thoughts, until he realized that a fight was taking place. But he didn't care, the girl nibbling on his neck didn't seem to either. It was simply another addition to the scene.

And the whole time, he tried not to see her, but everywhere he looked she seemed to be there, downing another shot over and over. He made it a game to count how many. And at fourteen he realized that the room wasn't as crowded as before.

People were leaving one by one, drunk out of their minds and completely forgetting why they were here in the first place. The banner saying, 'Happy Birthday, Stefan.' Still limply hanging from the wall, as if mocking the fact that he never came home in the first place. All Damon knew now was he was that his throat was dry, and a nice glass of water sounded really good at the moment. So he stumbled towards the kitchen to get exactly that, just in time to hear Bonnie talking to Elena in the dining room. "I'm sure something just came up. Or maybe he got in trouble or something."

"Yeah," he heard Elena say lamely.

"Have you called him?"

"Yep."

"Are you alright?"

"Mhm. Never better."

"Elena, talk to me please."

"I-I don't want to...to talk anymore," Elena slurred, the heart break in her voice so palpable that it nearly broke him with it, reminding him of the little girl he once knew. "I was ex..expecting it, actually you know? I mean is not like he's ever been home, ever. Like when...when I tell him. But I just thought that maybe, just maybe he'd want to spend his birthday with me instead of his damn friends. But I'm just...I'm never good enough."

Bonnie looked at Elena warily, for once not knowing what to say to comfort her friend. "That's not true, Elena and you know it. I'm sorry I know how hard you worked-"

"You should really take Caroline home now. Before Sheriff Forbes notices that she's passed out," Elena said, ending the conversation. She didn't want to hear any more sugarcoated lies, or anything at all anymore. She just wanted to sleep, really. Forever even. Because she's never felt as low as she did in that moment. Damon hated her now, and that in itself is its own black hole, through which prefers to not enter through. But in addition to that, she didn't know whether she should be angry at Stefan or worried, but she wasn't sober enough to actually do anything. She was useless, pathetic, undeserving of anyone who's ever loved her. It's good that she ended it with Damon. He seemed happier with those other girls, no matter how much it burned her to watch, it was truly for the best.

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><p>He stepped back from the door, the water forgotten. He fought the urge to go into that kitchen and to just look at her, because he knew that if he did, he would try to comfort her and thus going back to square one and destroying any 'forget Elena' progress that he'd been treading on for the past few days. She hated him, she said so herself. She wanted him to leave her alone, to stop destroying her relationship. She wanted him to stop. And so he will.<p>

He walked out of the kitchen, away from Elena, away from the feelings, because from now on he's done. No more drama for tonight. He ran his hands over his face, ready to call it a night when the doorbell suddenly rang.

Damon groaned in annoyance, ready to throw out the next damn teenager who left something. But when he opened the door, it wasn't a half-sobered teenager who met him.

Not at all.

"Katherine?"

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><p><strong>Dun...dun..dunnnn...<strong>

**Was it okay? I really hope that I didn't disappoint. I honestly scrapped like 2-3 other versions of this chapter. There were seriously billions upon billions of situations that I was thinking of because it was meant as the turning point. But the turning point to what, I wasn't really sure. So tell me what you think once again, if you will. **

**Thanks to daMuseFreak though, haha it wasn't gonna be a surprise party until your review. lol so hopefully it wasn't obvious that I just threw that in there.**


	9. Tears and Alcohol

**I know it's been awhile, and I'm sorrryyy it took so long. But school. Ugh. School. -_- I had half of this chapter done like two months back, but it kept getting pushed back under my buttloads of AP homework. But today I got suspended (for tardies), and so I had time. Here ya'll gooo Chapter 9. :) Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>Katherine?"<em>

Damon rubbed his eyes. He's really had way too much alcohol, because there's no way in hell that Katherine –fucking- Pierce was standing in front of his doorway right now, at approximately 1:34 am in the morning.

No fucking way.

But drunken induced hallucinations seem to have the ability to talk. "Good to see that you still haven't forgotten," the projection said, her mouth twitching into a smile, whilst her eyes held that devilish gleam which had once awoken passions within him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked venomously.

"Damon. Can you please just move aside, so we can get in?" Damon glanced up suddenly, noticing for the first time that Stefan, the damn birthday boy, had finally decided to show up, with an angry bruise adorning forehead.

"What happened to you?" Damon stepped reluctantly to the side.

"I got in a car accident. Airbag didn't go off." A tired tone tinged Stefan's voice as he walked in with Katherine in front of him, perfectly manicured hands on her hips, looking around as if she owned the place.

"Are you fine?"

"You're really asking me that question?"

"Well who did you hit?"

"Me," Katherine said, her chestnut curls falling from her shoulder as she tore herself from her assessment.

"Long story. I'll tell you tomorrow. But for now she's staying with us."

"What?" Damon couldn't help the 'wtf?' face that contorted this features at this new information. "Why?"

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow. It'll all be explained. But what the hell happened here?" Stefan said bending over to grasp a crumpled plastic cup from the floor which was still littered with faded confetti. The once impeccable glass tables now marred with the ugly rings of dried, sticky beer residue. The distinct smell of alcohol that is undoubtedly radiating off of him also not helping matters.

"Looks like we weren't invited to the party," Katherine commented.

Her voice alerted him back to her presence, killing his buzz just a notch. This was just too much in one night. Too fucking much. He looked between the two, and shook his head and decided to deal with all this shit tomorrow, because he had already exhausted every type of mental defense mechanism while dealing with Elena. His walls are damaged, and he is in desperate, desperate need of a recuperation.

"You should ask your lovely wasted girlfriend in the kitchen," was all he said before trudging up the stairs. Maybe being drunk since 2pm he could take. Seeing Elena in that bombshell dress, and trying_ not_ to want to fuck her against a wall he could take. Even her rejecting him in spectacular fashion. But all that together? Plus this? HAH. Yeah...no. "Night," he said to the two. And with that he disappeared up into the second floor.

* * *

><p>Voices were coming from the living room, but Elena couldn't really bring herself to give a damn. Maybe it was stupid to have such high expectations, but she just wanted everything to be perfect and now it's everything but that. She was too busy drowning under her sea of thoughts, her feelings burning through her and violently tugging her in different directions until it just all became one, one fiery ball threatening to break through her chest, threatening to break her completely. She closed her eyes, unable to stop the wave after wave of pain bombarding her, tears staining wooden table that her head was resting on. The rough surface scratching her cheek with every sob that wracked her, as she folded her arms around herself, desperately hoping to find some semblance of control and for it to finally end, for the tears to finally stop. Alcohol always did have the ability to pull down her walls open just a sliver, so that one could get a glimpse of the girl that was breaking within. She absolutely hated being wasted and depressed at the same time; it was never a good combination when it came to her. But nothing really mattered anymore, at least not right now..<p>

Maybe she was stupid to have such high expectations.

Just then she heard footsteps nearing and a hand grasping her shoulders. "Elena?" She lifted her groggy head at the sound of her name, as she glanced up befuddled, the room spinning around a familiar face.

"Stefan?'

"One second," she heard him say to someone.

"Don't worry," she heard the woman say, "I'll just go say hi to Damon."

She heard him chuckle. "Good luck with that one," he said, as she felt him grasping her once more.

And it was as if all the pent up anger imploded, the raggedy remnants of it coming through in sharp wavelengths. Stefan attempted to get a hold of her, but she pushed him away. "Don't...you...fucking...touch me,' she whispered, her voice quivering in anger.

"Elena, let's go to bed."

"No...no. Get the fuck away from me..."

"Elena, Elena let me explain," he began grasping her arm. But she pulled away violently, disgusted by his touch.

"Don't Stefan! Just don't!" he attempted to get a hold of her again, but before she knew it, she heard the crack of her palm meeting his cheek, causing him to finally let go of her. "Don't you give me some...some bullshit about 'team dynamics' thing. Tyler and them were all here. You...you have no excuse. And you come in at fucking 2am with some whore thinking that it's okay? That it's all just fucking okay? Well I'm done. I'm done working...so hard...when you don't even care..."

She watched Stefan breathing deeply, his nose flaring in anger, a hard look which she'd never seen before take over his once tender eyes. "You think that I wanted to spend my birthday in the hospital, Elena?" Her rage was mirrored by his tone. He gestured to the angry blue and red bruise on his forehead which Elena never noticed. "Only to come home and be yelled at by you? How was I supposed to know about any of this anyway? When you never told me?"

Elena looked down, feeling smaller than ever. "I...I thought...I wanted it to be a surprise-"

"You wanted it to be a fucking surprise!" she jumped at the sudden ferocity that took over his voice. "Oh great! And then you blame me for not knowing? You're ridiculous." Elena felt the tears welling up again.

"Well I'm sorry for trying to make this special for you.." Elena felt her throat constricting, defiant tears rolling down her cheeks.

"No. No stop crying Elena. Don't play that card. You keep doing this. You keep suffocating me! Can't you fucking see?"

* * *

><p>Damon was laying on his bed, watching the ceiling, the faint sound of the angry slurs permeating the closed door, and though they were as faint as a baby's whisper, they might as well have been broadcasting it, in the way that it tugged at him, every yell like an alarm bell preventing him from sleep. However as he continued to listen, another beat began intermixing in their angry tune. And as the sound grew louder he realized that it was the sound of heels clicking against the hardwood floor, and soon enough his door had opened to reveal none other than Ms. Katherine Pierce.<p>

Can this night get any worse?  
>He ran his hand over his face in exasperation. "What do you want?"<p>

"Ouch. Is that anyway to treat a guest?" she chuckled humorlessly, before giving a sickly sweet smile, so perfect and well placed that it could not be natural, but a work of some other devious machinations of her mind. "And I just wanted to apologize, that's all. I don't want any bad air between us."

Damon scoffed, his eyes closed. "Just leave, will you?"

"Why are you so eager to have me out?" he heard the click of those heels nearing his bed, his bed tipping over slightly as she sat down next to him. "I just got here. Don't you have anything to say?"

"I'm sleeping, Katherine," he said, barely concealed hostility injected in his tone. "Go find someone else to fuck over."

She laughed once more, a shrill sound which grated on his nerves, until he felt the bed stabilize once again. "Well I, for one, am looking forward to spending time with you again. Good night, Damon."

* * *

><p>Stefan's words hit her deep, picking at her insecurities. She was a bother to him, no matter how much he denied or how patient he seemed. He didn't want her there. She was 'suffocating' him. A loud sob, tore it's way from her throat unwillingly. "I-I'm sorry.. I'll leave.."<p>

Stefan pinched the bridge of his nose. "No you won't, Elena. Just please go upstairs. I've had a tough night. I don't need this." He said with a grounding finality, as he walked past her.

Broken. So terribly, terribly broken. That's what she felt, standing there, her hair sticking to her wet cheek, her make up running down her face. Has she ever felt this pathetic before? She couldn't recall any other instance in which she'd every felt as desperate to sink into the face of the Earth as she did in that moment. Why isn't some strike of lightning hitting her right now? Because she just wanted nothing more than to cease to exist.

Self-pity wasn't a feeling she often welcomed, but right now a constant overflow of thoughts was hitting her. She had no parents. Her baby brother was in rehab. Her aunt and uncle hated her. Damon hated her now. And Stefan, the ever reliable boyfriend was now casting her away, after everything. After fucking everything. She was alone. And she'd never been reminded so violently of that fact, until now. Before she knew it, she was walking up the stairs, numbness taking over. She walked past the breeze of the open front door, barely feeling it, barely registering anything really. It was as if an even heavier cloud than that of alcohol had found residence in her mind, as she moved robotically step by step, until she found herself in front of Stefan's bedroom. She found her bag, and began placing her clothes in albeit drunkenly, each movement a clumsy one. And when she had deemed herself packed and ready to go, with the clutter of shirts bursting out of her bag, she made for the front door. She was able to step out of Stefan's room and down the stairs before she heard someone calling to her. Or maybe the person was just yelling, she wasn't entirely sure and she didn't really care. She finally opened the front door, stepping into the sweet night air.

However, she was only out for a minute before she heard Stefan voice behind her. "Elena. What are you doing now?" he said, his voice leaking of exasperation which sank her self-pity to an even lower level than before, if it was possible. But she chose not to answer. If he thinks she's a fucking bother, then she's gone. She fumbled for the keys in her bag, searching the velvet pockets with a slow disposition akin to that of someone who's truly immersed into her own mind. "Get in the house, Elena." She pretended not to hear. Suddenly a head poked out the door.

"What's going on?" She glanced once at the familiar face._ Is that- ? _Elena shook her head, returning to her earlier task of trying to find those damn keys.

She heard Stefan take a deep breath. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Bonnie's," she finally muttered. Finally giving up and walking towards the street.

"It's almost two AM Elena."

But she kept walking, one foot in front of the other. Their yells, mutterings, whatever the hell it didn't matter anymore. None of it did. She's reached that level of numbness, passed the point of her capacity to hurt, the capacity to care.

* * *

><p>Damon had almost been there, that sweet, peaceful blanket of sleep. Almost. Until he heard their yells drifting in through his window once gain, someone calling Elena. He shot up suddenly, taking his groggy feet over the side of the bed. He rushed downstairs, at least as fast as someone half-drunk and half-asleep could go. He saw the door which was slightly ajar and step through, almost bumping into Katherine.<p>

"What's going on?" Damon asked her. Elena was off about 10-12 feet away, with Stefan next to her looking as if he was trying to pull her arm off.

"I thought you were sleeping?" she said, smugly as if nothing was happening. Damon ignored her question and jogged after the couple, the rough pavement scratching his bare feet.

"What's going on?"

"She won't come back in the house."

"What? What did you do?"

"What did _I_ do? Fucking nothing! I did _fucking_ nothing. You know what? You deal with her, I've had enough for tonight," and with that Damon watched Stefan walk back to the front door, the sound of crunching pavement ringing in the air.

"Elena," Damon ran in front of the girl, grasping her shoulders, preventing her pathetic attempts to escape his hold. "Elena! Will you just tell me what's actually wrong?"

Damon looked at Elena, finally floored to the spot, her hair disheveled and silent tears running down her exquisite face. But he still couldn't help but find her so breathtakingly beautiful, maybe even more so than earlier, seeing her now in this raw state with nothing but the street lights and the moon illuminating her tear-stained face.

"Elena, talk to me," But it was as if she hadn't heard him at all, her head was still bent down, drops of her tears hitting the road on which she stood. He sighed, and let go of her arms after she stopped struggling. He lifted her chin, watching her eyes shut, and her lower lip quivering as if trying with all her might to hold herself back. "Elena...it's okay," he whispered gently, he didn't know how to comfort. That was always Stefan. He never truly let himself care enough for any unfortunate woman who threw herself at him, as he had often been the cause of tears and not the remedy of one. But for her, he'll try his best.

"I lied Damon," she finally said her voice breaking.

"What?"

"In the room...when...when I said all those things. I lied.."

"Stop, Elena," Damon said. "We'll talk about it when you're not piss drunk." He didn't want to confront these feelings now, not when she can later regret what she's saying or worse, forget.

"I just...I'm...I hate crying," she mumbled, opening her eyes but refusing to look into his face.

"Me too," he said, giving her a cheeky smile, the only gift he knew he could offer to her. She looked at him then, thick lashes framing the tears pooling on her eyes."I'm so tired Damon," she said, weakly.

He nodded once. "Then let's get back, alright? Give me your bag." She groggily slipped her bag off of her shoulder and gave it to him.

* * *

><p>Elena felt herself being supported by the strong arm wrapped around her shoulder, as she was guided back into the boarding the house, the rush of warm air enveloping her upon entering. She had calmed down a significant amount, wishing for nothing more than sleep. Her body felt like it weighed a ton, as she fought against her sleepiness, the deep kind of exhaustion brought upon by the excessive amount of emotion and tears which she'd just gone through. She felt him nudging her towards her bedroom, and before she knew it she was underneath the soft covers of the bed she shared with her boyfriend, his brother hovering over her.<p>

"Are you alright?"

"Mhm," she murmured, closing her eyes, snuggling into the blankets which she didn't remember being as soft as it is now, and with that she drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>"Goodnight, Elena," Damon whispered to the sleeping girl, sighing to himself. How the hell did he get himself in this situation? Honestly. He was always the one pined after, not the pine-ee. And yet part of him just can't help but bask in the reluctant feelings that he gets whenever he's around her. It hadn't been like that for a long while. He was well guarded against it, thanks to the bitch in the other room. And for good reason. He never wanted to feel this way anymore. He was done. But dammit, this girl is just slipping under every defense. He looked back at her once, before resigning himself to leave. Just as he was about to open the door, he was met with Stefan on the other side.<p>

"You got her in?" he asked, looking past his shoulder.

"Yep. Now all you have to do is sleep next to her. If you can even do that," Damon muttered, trying to contain his anger.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it means, Stefan." Damon said stalking past him, unable to hold back the bitterness he felt.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: Was that too depressing? Hopefully not. :) Please tell me what you think. I'm kind of feeling a bit lost at this moment, so I need your guys' input. Next chapter, though it'll all be explained (even more so). Why Katherine's there, where Stefan was, etcetc. <strong>

**I'm actually thinking about starting a new story set in 1864, since we're learning about that time period and whenever I hear something about the Confederacy, I couldn't help but think about Damon lol. Plus, I'm being urged to finish _Gone With the Wind_, which also can't help but remind me of that time period. But to the writers there, do you advice starting two stories at the same time? Or is one at a time the best way to go? PM me, por favor if anyone has any advice. :) **


	10. The World is Spinning

**YES. I finally finished. It's about 4:17 am right now, and I finally finished. It might be incoherent at some parts due to the fact that it _is_ 4:17 am right now and I'm half asleep with my grandma snoring next to me. The POV switches back and forth at times so please bare with me. And it's long. Probably the longest chapter I've written.**

**Anyways I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

><p>She opened her eyes slowly, an effort that was damn near impossible. The bitter taste of vodka was still evident on her tongue as she rose up from the head-shaped indentation on the pillow. What the hell happened last night? Suddenly, a dreadful feeling gripped her heart, causing the remaining traces of sleep to run away from sheer shock; that sinking feeling you get once you know something embarrassing happened, yet you aren't quite sure of what exactly it was. She pushed the sea of blankets aside, her limbs practically creaking from disuse as a sudden wave of nausea rushed through her, sending her running to the bathroom.<p>

And just then she found her face up close and personal with Stefan's toilet bowl, whilst emptying the contents of last night in a very unlady-like fashion. She grimaced at the feeling, as her head spun so out of control that she'd miss up from down the moment she closed her eyes. And at that moment she concluded that she will never drink ever again. After the urge to puke her stomach out finally subsided, she manage to pick herself up - though god only knows how she managed. Upon standing, she dared to take a glance at her reflection in the mirror. Goodness, she looked terrible. A trail of mascara was plastered to her cheeks, and her hair looked like a bird's nest. She was still wearing the dress from last night. And her eyes, oh god. It was like her eyelids got bitten by a cockroach, they were so swollen. If her head hadn't throbbed so much, then she probably would've laughed.

Just then, flashes of Stefan's murderous face, and Damon's frustrated one played before her. And a sudden whiff of bitter vomit caused another round of retching. The regret seeping through her tortured, alcohol-addled brain did not help matters either. Fuck. After what felt like forever, she finally stopped enough to hear muffled voices coming from the next room.

She strained her ears at the unfamiliar sound, and the sudden laughter dully beating through the wall.

It almost sounded like-no, it can't be. She was in Europe, and if she wasn't, this would probably be the last place she'd be. No, it must be someone else.

Did Damon bring someone home? A resentful feeling passed over her just then, at the prospect of such madness. But she knew that feeling wasn't fair to him, and she attempted to stifle that gnawing in her heart. (No, no she wasn't jealous. She's not allowed to be jealous after last night.) She sighed, finally giving up after the voice subsided. She grabbed her towel then, hoping for a moment of peace before she faced whatever was awaiting her downstairs.

Too bad it didn't work. She still felt like her stomach was somewhere near her feet by the time she was walking towards the dining room. A faint image of Stefan, face all stormy-like the way it got when he was particularly upset, waiting at the door, a fork in his hand ready to attack vaguely crossed her mind. Or Damon, with some cellular picture of their kiss, and a barrage of accuses were also faintly a possibility. Or even worse, he might not even care she walked in at all and he'd be making out with the mystery girl from the other room, saying '_How does it feel Elena? How does it feel!_' She sighed. Better late than never.

However after rounding the corner to enter the kitchen, she found no woman existent. It was worse. Stefan and Damon were eating breakfast together. She didn't know whether she should just turn back around or greet them as if nothing happened. But instead she continued in, the silence deafening in her ears as she grabbed herself a plate and fork and seated herself at the table.

Well, this is uncomfortable. It was like the sides were closing in on her, and someone had a death grip on her heart, because of the waves of anger and hostility and regret and whatever the hell else were emanating from the two in waves. And she didn't know whether it was aimed at her or each other. But they continued eating nonetheless, the metallic sound of clanking forks and spoons echoing in the dining room. It was as if there were so many things that she wanted to say, that _they_ wanted to say but instead it was all kept under wraps, the unspoken words banging against each other inside of them, increasing the pressure in the silent room.

It was Damon who spoke first, somewhat alleviating the agony. "Did you sleep well?" She almost wanted to laugh. After everything?

"Yeah. Did you?"

She continually glanced back at Stefan, unable to completely ignore the huge bruise on his forehead, as if it was another being present in the already stuffed dining room. The terrible thing was that she completely forgot why it was there in the first place, something to do with an accident and head-hitting, but she was way too stubborn and proud and afraid to ask him, for fear that he might lash out at her again, reopening wounds that sleep had effectively healed.

This time Damon did laugh.

"Oh yeah. Sleep was great. How about you Stefan?"

It remained quiet, Damon's words hanging in the air with no response to catch them. Elena thought that Stefan was simply going to ignore them, until he replied minutes later, "It was fine." He stood up suddenly, putting away his plates and striding out of the dining room without so much as a glance in her general direction.

The grip in her heart loosened just a little bit as she glanced at Damon. She wanted him to say something again, anything. She ate her food a little faster, a little more violently in an attempt to somehow fill the silence. But she slowed down, finding the right words to end the awkward air between them.

"Uhm...about last night-"

"Stop, Elena. We don't have to talk about it," he shoots back, as if this moment had been what he was anticipating the moment she entered the room, and ending any progress before it even started.

_But damn it, I want to talk about it_. Her mouth opened to respond, words intended to finally break open that dam sans alcohol, tears, or mind-numbing kisses before she saw Damon freeze, his eyes glaring at something behind her. She turned around, her mouth slightly opening in shock at seeing her infamous older cousin walk into her boyfriend's dining room as if she'd done it all her life. "Katherine?" What the hell is going on? The laughter! Flashes of her presence last night began coming to the forefront.

Damon swiftly stood up. "And that's my cue to leave." She watched him stand up, his muscles tensed beneath the thin gray v-neck that he often wore.

"Leaving so soon Damon? But I just got here."

"Exactly." Katherine only shook her head at him, a smirk firmly placed on her lips before she sat down, her eyes finally landing on Elena.

"He's cute, huh?" Katherine asked flippantly as soon as Damon was out of earshot.

"Wait what are-" Elena began, opting out of answering that question.

"You fuck him yet?" Elena's eyes bugged out at Katherine's words. Her cousin laughed suddenly. "Well don't get your panties in a twist, it's just a question. I mean your boyfriend's cute and all but Damon. How could you not?"

"N-no! What? No. NO. I would never," Elena said, her cheeks flaming.

"Well let's hope it stays that way," Katherine replied. "I mean he's kind of like your older brother if you think about it. The way he used to take care of you when he was still with me."

"Wait. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were in Paris?" Elena said, profusely in need of a change in subject.

"A simple welcome would've been nice," Katherine glanced down at her bright pink fingernails, before looking back up. "I mean after how I almost died trying to get here."

"What?"

"Well if someone was able to handle her alcohol last night then you would've heard everybody yelling it at you." Elena grimaced. Katherine seemed to take pleasure in making her uncomfortable, not that she felt right at home in the first place. "You really don't remember?" Elena shook her head, and Katherine sighed as if trying to make a child understand. "I just arrived last night actually and I visited Mom and Dad. And _they_ told me where to find you, so being the great person that I am, I wanted to come and see how you were. But on my way here a big, black jeep goes and hits me from behind."

"Stefan?"

"Yep. He said you kept calling him and he finally went to answer but he dropped it and BAM," Katherine said. Elena felt the guilt seeping in at the memory of how she yelled at him. "Don't feel bad, Lena. It wasn't your fault," she continued, as if she could read her thoughts. "Well, actually it kinda is." Elena looked down shamefully. "But thank god, your boyfriend is such a sweetheart. He's letting me stay here for the week. I mean this place has got what - 6 bedrooms? It sure beats staying at a hotel."

Elena looked up suddenly. "Stefan's letting you stay?" Stefan knew Damon's history with Katherine, why would he do that to his own brother?

"Yup. Seven days give or take." Katherine grinned, before getting up and grabbing herself some breakfast.

* * *

><p>Damon sat at his computer, watching the blinking text cursor. His mind was so frustratingly blank. He'd promised Andie that he'd work on his part of the article during his little 'vacation' but how could he possibly think when the only thing on his mind was a constant replay of <em>her<em>.

_In the room...when...when I said all those things. I lied.._

Damn it. He was there, he really was. She told him she didn't want him anymore, and he believed it. He wanted to believe it, because that gave him a concrete reason of why he should stop wanting her. It was hopeless. But then she goes ahead and fucks it all up. It's like she knows exactly what he's thinking, in the way that whenever he gets close to closing that door, she would give him that doe-eyed look (fuck that look), that tiny piece of string over his head that stupid him of course would desperately grab onto. She had him, and she didn't even know it.

But Stefan. He couldn't. They were so close to being brothers again, he couldn't mess it up.

He sighed. The rusty cogs in his brain trying to come up with something, anything. He was so intent on thinking of a topic that he almost jumped in his chair when he felt someone's hands on his shoulders, moving down over his chest.

"Hello," came Katherine's sultry voice in his ear. "What you working on?"

His brain was too exhausted to fight anymore, and he still didn't understand what she was playing at. She'd made her choice clear years ago.

"What do you want Katherine? Why are you here?" Damon said, exasperation tingeing his voice.

"Oh come on, Damon. I think we both know the answer to that. I've made it obvious haven't I?" He felt her tongue on his earlobe. "I think you need to just relax, let me do all the work," Katherine said returning to her position behind him, her hands massaging his shoulders.

He jerked his head away from her in disgust. "I'd be calm if you left."

"Why don't you leave with me?"

Damon fully turned around in his desk chair to face the woman, effectively dislodging her invading fingers from him. "What?"

"Come on, Damon. If you don't care about me anymore then why are you still so affected?"

"Let me guess. Mason doesn't want you anymore?"

This seemed to hit a nerve with Katherine, the careless facade crumbling for just a second before it returned with full vengeance. "You didn't answer my question. Face it, Damon. I still have an effect on you." She smiled sweetly.

"No, Katherine. You really don't." He intended to spin back around in dramatic fashion. That is until she practically clawed his shoulders.

"Oh yeah?" And before he could stop her, she climbed onto his lap, her lips mauling his face. The poor chair could barely take the weight as it dangerously teetered back on its axis. It took him about a moment to process what was happening before a sudden tap on the door stilled her attack.

"Damon?" came Elena's muffled voice from behind the door. "Hey we—we should talk.." To his alarm, the doorknob started turning. However by the time he stood up, sending Katherine unceremoniously tumbling to the hardwood floor with a _thump_, it was too late.

"Elena…" he began, watching helplessly as her mouth fell open a fraction, simultaneous shock and hurt storming through her expressions, and the way in which she tried to restrain herself from reacting, yet failing miserably. The product some cross section of both. Her brows were furrowed, and he could barely see the beginning of tears misting on her lower lashes. And all he could do was stand there. Like an idiot. "Elena.." he repeated, as if that one word explained everything. If only it did.

It was Katherine who spoke up first, breaking the tension in the room. "Privacy, Lena. Ever heard of it?"

"S..sorry, I-I didn't know," she murmured before shutting the door. He wanted to run to her, to explain everything to her, to calm her worries, and to tell her that he wouldn't touch the bitch scrambling to stand up on the floor from a mile away. But the other half felt like it wasn't in his place to explain, that chasing her would only cause her to run further in the other direction.

"What the hell was that about?" Katherine asked, jolting Damon back to reality.

"What?"

"The way you reacted...Both of you..." she gave him a curious glance.

"Get out, Katherine," he said with finality, cutting her off.

"You'll ask for me back sooner or later, Damon," she coldly replied, before stomping out of the room in a huff.

* * *

><p>Elena rushed into her room, feeling numb all over. It was like she couldn't breathe; like something big and beating was trapped inside her chest, weighing it down. She didn't even register pulling Stefan's bed covers over her head, or the way her breathing slowed and the air grew stuffy as tears wet the cotton pillowcase, soaking her cheeks. She didn't remember grabbing her phone, but here she was clutching it in her hand. It was a rather odd feeling really, this utter detachment. It was as if she wasn't thinking, like a dam was propped up between her and her mind. She still has the impression of the raging thoughts inside, the reason for why her heart hurt so much, but it seemed far away. Everything did. And all she can think of is that she has to leave the house, now or else she'll self-implode.<p>

"Sorry 'Lena, I can't hang today. I'm on freaking house arrest after my Dad found out that I drank and drove," Elena heard Bonnie whisper on the receiver an hour later.

"Oh," Elena replied, her heart sank. "Okay. Well How was Care?"

"Oh my goodness, it was terrible! We tried to sneak in but Sherriff Forbes was waiting for us, and get this, Caroline puked all over her," Bonnie giggled.

Elena laughed, the sound sounding weak even to her own ears, "Seriously?"

"Yeah! I honestly doubt we'll be seeing her at all for the next like, year."

"That sucks."

"Shit! Gotta go, Elena. I hear my dad. Talk to you later!"

And just like that, with the click of Bonnie's phone on the other side, she was thrust back into her own sphere of madness, and her thoughts drifted back to _them._

It was really only a matter of time she supposed, before they got back together. She just couldn't shake the frustrating feeling that she was exactly back where she started: sitting in her room moping at the fact that Katherine and Damon were together. She fought so hard to make herself believe that she was better than that, but here she is again in the same fucking situation six years later. It's pathetic and she couldn't help but dabble in a little pain and self-pity, in fact she liked to wallow in it until she was white and pruny.

She sighed for the umpteenth time that day. She will not be crying anymore over those two, and that'll be the difference. She took her phone and dialed Stefan's number, time to pay attention to her own boyfriend.

"What is it, Elena?" came Stefan's harsh words through the receiver. Elena flinched, she didn't know how much more she could take today.

"I just wanted to know how you were doing," she replied, her voice coming out smaller than she planned it to.

"I'm at the Gym, okay? With Tyler, not some whore or whatever the hell you think I've been doing behind your back."

Elena took a deep breath, trying to contain the anger simmering through the guilt. "You shouldn't strain yourself."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about."

"About what? Talk to me please, Stefan. Because I don't understand what's going on with us. With you."

"I'll talk to you later. 'Kay?" Elena heard through the speaker, the small click in the background signifying the end of the conversation.

"Bye," she replied back bitterly. It's probably high time she had a moment to herself. So what if her friends were busy or that the last thing her boyfriend wanted to do was be with her _or _that his brother/guy-she'd-give-an-arm-for was probably fucking his ex in the other room. So what? She pressed the phone to her ear once again and dialed the rehab facility Jeremy was staying at. There's the one guy she could always count on.

* * *

><p>"So how are you and Elena?" Tyler asked wiping the sweat from his brow.<br>Stefan let out a humorless laugh, letting the searing heat of the sauna soothe his muscles.

"Dude, you gotta stop letting her manhandle you. It's just embarrassing for all of us. My uncle had it right, you know. You don't let some chick live with you unless you know you can stand each other."

"You're uncle was a bastard."

"But he knew what he was doing," Tyler replied.

"I know what I'm doing."

"Hell, I don't think you'd even realize it if Elena started fucking your brother."

Stefan stiffened. "What the fuck, man?"

Tyler put his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm just saying. They seem to be hanging out _a lot_, and in your bedroom, too. I saw 'em at the party 'talking'."

"So you saw them in my room, big deal. They live in the house," Stefan waved it off. "They wouldn't do that."

"What I'm saying is, you're supposed to be enjoying life right now. Plus half the time you're hiding out with us, what's the point?"

"The point is, I'd feel like a total dick if I broke up with her. Her brother just got put into rehab, her only family disowns her. What kind of asshole would I be if I kick her out of my house?"

"Dude. She practically bit out your ass after you got in an accident on your fucking birthday. What kind of bitch does that? That's why you don't get involved with a girl with baggage. We warned you from the beginning. But, you didn't listen. Matt knew the deal."

"Matt missed out," Stefan replied. "Elena's great, she is...or she was. She just gets annoying sometimes, and I'm just waiting 'til I get the good Elena back. Before Damon came, she'd be crying all over the place and she won't even talk to me about it. Fuck, what does she want me to do? Half the time I just want to tell her to suck it up. I mean, she used to be fun. Like, _fun_. Now it's like she's PMS-ing all over the place."

"Well better hurry up bro before your brother gets some of that _fun_." Stefan gave him a murderous look. "Just saying."

"God, you better shut up soon."

"Chill yourself," Tyler laughed. "I'm just saying what I see. I mean you're barely with your brother who came all the way out here to hang with you. And _they're always_ together in the house where you, my friend, are not. How do you know?"

"Because I know my brother. And his ex is in the house right now. Why would he go for Elena when he has Katherine?"

"Katherine Pierce? My Uncle's ex Katherine Pierce?" Stefan nodded. "Good luck with her. She's hot but she's a bitch." Stefan laughed, but Tyler continued. "Elena has something man. She's got baggage for sure, and I wouldn't even get near that for my life, but if I were you're brother and I got her all by herself, I'd take advantage. But that's if I was your brother."

"Fuck you," Stefan stood up leaving Tyler by himself.

"What?" Tyler asked, holding his arms out. Stefan grabbed his towel and strode out of the sauna, barely hitting a little old lady in spanx in his anger. _They wouldn't do that_. He sighed, this has become one of the worst reunions in the history of reunions, or at least the second worst. Maybe it was time to do some heart to heart with his big bro? God knows, that's been way overdue.

* * *

><p>Elena fumbled with her bag, her hand meeting all kinds of debris in the form of coins, and quarters, and bread crumbs. Where the hell did that come from? But nope, no jangling of any sort indicating her keys where found. She stepped back into the house dejectedly. Thank god, visiting hours don't end for a few hours or so.<p>

"Where the hell...?" She wracked her brain for some kind of clue that would point her in the right direction until suddenly an image of her hand and Stefan's in a war over the keys came forth.

_Fuuck._

She rushed back into their bedroom, and effectively turned everything upside down, scouring every nook and cranny where those damn keys could've possibly fit because there was no way in hell that she was gonna ask Damon for help.

No way. She'd rather walk the thirty minute drive it took to get there. She really would.

Until of course thirty-seven minutes later, after probably the sixteenth time she looked beneath the leather couch. She plopped herself down_, _her face red. She didn't know if she could take another glance at them together. Once was enough for a lifetime, thank you very much.

But she sighed, already knowing she had no choice. The trek up the stairs was probably the hardest part. She wanted to turn back at least three times and actually did twice before making her way back up. _You know? You're just asking for your keys. No biggie. _So she squared her shoulders and made her way to his door. But before she could knock, she heard someone's footsteps behind her and an adjoining, "What are you doing?" She felt her shoulders tense, her body freezing up at the sound of his voice. Her face heating up in embarrassment at the prospect of him witnessing her indecision.

"Oh, uh..." she croaked. "I-I was just wondering if you knew where my keys where?" The tension between them was so thick you could probably spin a quarter on it.

"Oh. Over here." Elena nodded, following him inside his room. She couldn't help but glance towards the computer chair, the image of Katherine and him there moments ago causing another flash of burning in her chest. "Hold on a sec," he said before disappearing in what looked like a walk in closet. She debated sitting on his bed, but dirty thoughts began flashing through her head- and well it's probably just better to stay standing. Looking around, something on the glow of the computer screen caught her eye, and before she could help it, she was reading through probably what was the most elaborate poem she's ever read.

"Here it is," he finally said striding out of the closet, her keys dangling from his right hand, but his face suddenly looked alarmed once he saw what she was looking at.

"What is this?" Elena asked, the tension taking a break at her sudden revelation.

"It's nothing, really."

"You wrote it?"

"Well it's kind of my job."

"You're a writer?"

"A freelance writer. But I'm working on this piece with a partner and my shit is due in a few days."

"You never told me."

"You never asked."

"Wow."

"What?"

"It's kind of my dream."

"Writing?"

"Well, my mom was a writer and I guess I inherited the gene. Like, I don't know it's like when I write I'm finally in control of something, you know? And I feel like it's the one thing that can connect me to her," Elena replied, trying to fight tears threatening to come through. It was weird talking to him so normally after what just happened. "Sorry."

"Giueseppe wanted a lawyer for a son."

"What?"

"He wanted a lawyer. My dad." He replied, stepping slightly closer to her. His gaze burned through her. And she was floored by the emotion she witnessed in those striking blue orbs.

"What happened?"

"I tried to be what he wanted me to be. In fact, I tried so hard to be perfect and to make him so fucking proud. And I fuck up once. ONCE. And suddenly I'm the abomination of the family. And then I realized that it didn't matter whatever the hell I did. None of it mattered because he only ever saw the bad in me. And hell, that's what I gave him."

Elena stayed silent, waiting to see if he would go on, but after realizing he wasn't, she spoke up."You're not bad, Damon."

"You sure about that?" What a terrible question to ask. But she nodded nonetheless. No, he wasn't bad. Not in the slightest. If anyone was bad it was her. And that's what she told him. He laughed of course, and she never even noticed how much she missed that sound. "You're as bad as a unicorn on a rainbow with sprinkles on top."

"Shut up," she replied, but she couldn't help the smile tugging the corner of her mouth. "What was it like? You know...after you left?" She asked, letting her hand run over his silk covers before finally giving in and taking a seat on the bed.

"I guess I was just taking everything out on life in general. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel. But I did, and that's what made it so hard. I wanted to go to a place where I didn't know anyone and just become whoever I wanted to be and act however I wanted to because I was so sick of being judged. I couldn't handle it anymore." He paused for a second before continuing, "That's me. I guess I get a little self-destructive."

Elena couldn't help the humorless laugh that sprung up. "You're telling me. It's like no matter what you do, none of it ever goes away no matter how hard you try to run away from it."

"Exactly." They looked at each other and it was like the clock stopped. She could practically hear a click in the background with how close she felt with him right in that moment, like two pieces of a puzzle. Elena finally broke their gaze, biting her lip in a nervous gesture. But then she saw the damned chair, again. The offending piece of scrap metal, and before she knew it she was scrambling up to leave, the stuffiness of the room threatening to suffocate her.

"So the keys?" She asked, setting her feet down from the bed. He nodded silently, placing the keys in her hand. "Thanks," she murmured, walking towards the door.

But as soon as she touched the cold steel of his doorknob, he spoke from behind her. "Wait."

"What?" she turned back, afraid of what she might see.

"Nothing happened with Katherine and me." It was like the temperature in the room escalated ten fold. "It's not what it looked like." He walked closer to her. "When you came earlier, you wanted to talk right? Then let's talk."

"You don't have to explain to me, Damon. There's nothing to talk about. Not anymore," she replied. Her words were controlled, too controlled, like the tightness of a rubber band right before it snaps.

Damon scoffed, it was an intruding noise. He's had enough of this. "Right, I don't. Because you don't give a flying fuck about me and what I do. And Katherine mauling me earlier had absolutely zero effect on you. Right? When are you gonna stop _pretending_, Elena?" The barely held frustration finally exploding from him, Elena almost flinched.

"What do you want me to do?" she replied in a whisper.

"Just be fucking honest," Damon muttered with as much bitterness as he can muster, turning away from her in a final signal of defeat. "At least if you're gonna reject me, be fucking honest about it, instead of pretending like there's nothing going on between us."

"You want me to be honest, Damon?" Elena replied after him. Something in her voice caught his attention and he faced her again, the broken remnants of the shame he saw earlier practically all but gone, replaced with some mixture of bravery and indignation. "I've been in love with you since I was fucking 12 years old, Damon." He froze. "And I get it. _Trust me_ I get it, that I have no right to be angry that you and Katherine are together again. _No right_. But I can't. And it hurts so fucking much and I'm so tired of it. And then there's Stefan, who is the last person that I ever wanted to hurt but damn it, Damon. I can't. So pardon me, but pretending is the only way I get through the day, alright?"

Sorry, but did she just say love? It was as if the world skewed right then, sputtering on its axis, stopping at a halt with that word. That can't be right. But the way she stood there, and the way she was looking at him right then with her burning eyes and mouth set in that subtle pout that was so uniquely hers, how could he _not _want to completely ravish her right then. He didn't know if he should get started on that, or the backflips at the fact that he wasn't completely delusional. "Elena, Katherine and I aren't back together."

"You can call it whatever you want-" she began, all traces of the vulnerable eighteen year old girl fading away.

"We're _not_ back together." He closed in on her, taking in the hitch in her breath and the way her body seemed to soften before him. "But damn it, you and my brother are."

"I know," she replied, all the fight leaving in that one statement.

"So you know how completely wrong this is."

She let out a shuddering breath before nodding her head. She closed her eyes then, the feel of his rough fingertips ghosting on her skin, sending her breath away and all that was left between them was her racing heart beat. Until suddenly, she felt him stop, feeling his soft breath hovering over her lips, and she realized that he was waiting for her to make the final move. That this time it wouldn't be him. And against all voices telling her no, she closed the gap, pressing her lips to his.

Is this what heaven felt like? Or death? Sweet, melancholy death that left her breathless and desperate for more of him. The way his velvet lips shaped to fit her own, it was surreal. Completely surreal, and by the time her hands tangled in his silky hair it was like every thought in her head impeding this from happening flew away and it was just him and her once again.

God, she was so, so screwed.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you like it? R&amp;R por favor.<strong>


	11. To Brothers

_He'd come around soon enough, she was sure of it. This silly little playing hard to get, he'd get tired of it soon and he'd remember how they used to be._

_lf only they could go back to how they used to be._

_Besides, once you loved somebody - really, loved somebody, you couldn't just erase that. (And she knew he loved her, she knew it) It was only a matter of time._

_Did she feel bad that she cheated on him all those summer nights ago? Sometimes she wondered herself. But it was a thought too far, and a feeling she'd already removed herself from. Though she rarely admitted it to herself, she liked the attention. She fed off of it like a starved neglected child. The idea of being fought over and loved, really loved and wanted. And they loved her, those silly boys and their crooked smiles and empty, meaningless flowery words murmured into the ear of the next beauty that happened to pass by. None of them, really cared, that much she knew. Not really. Not like Damon._

_It was only a matter of time._

_So with a smile, she entered the Salvatore household. A faint memory of one starry night on the roof and talks of forever flitting through her mind; before the spiral of wrong decisions and artificial, superficial happiness, back to when things were real._

_She was going to salvage it. She was going to get back to the start and reclaim the one man who ever really loved her._

_She had to. She needed to._

_So when she first heard the murmurings from inside Damon's room, she paused. The click of her heels losing it's rhythm on the wooden floor, hiccuping for a second before coming to a complete stop. Pearl earring touching wood. It sounded like ...? A moan, reverberated through the door._

_No...no...it can't be. _

_But the way he looked when he ran after her that night. _

_She should've known._

_It was a crumbling feeling at the pit of her stomach, a blind cut too swift to feel right away. She didn't know why she was reacting so hard. This was fucking Damon. Nonetheless she turned the door knob, hearing the slight creak with every rotated inch._

_And sure enough there was the pristine, perfect little thief squirming under her boyfriend. THE BITCH. _

_Her lower lip quivered._

_She just wasn't happy enough, huh? Her parents hadn't been enough? The attention? The way the little whore destroyed her marriage by tattling to the sorry excuse of a father John had been?_

_And now, Damon? Pure unfiltered anger surged hotly through her veins._

_No, she's not taking anything from her anymore. Not this fucking time._

* * *

><p><em>Riing Riiing<em>

It all seemed so far away in the midst of the kisses. Elena was drowning in them, surrounded in his kisses and the feel of his tongue expertly curling against hers. It was like she was on hyper alert and every feel of him was magnified tenfold against her heated skin. She didn't know how they made it to his silk covers but somehow they did. All tangled limbs, until he ended up on top of her, leaning down for a kiss.

_Riiiiiing Riiiing_

"You...you should...probably get...that," she said in between laughter and colliding lips. He sighed, giving her a peck before laying down beside her with a plop, chest moving up and down. It was crazy how empty she suddenly felt, like the disappointing feeling of waking up from a good dream. Except it wasn't a dream, and she couldn't for the hell of it wipe off the goofy smile or the heart jackhammering in her chest. This was bliss, and she for the fucking life of her could not remember a moment when she felt happier.

From the side she vaguely saw his arm reach out for his phone.

"Stefan," she heard him say, words slipping from his lips like gravel and it took only that to send her world tumbling down and her naive moment of happiness to shatter in splendid fashion on the wooden floor. _I'm going to hell, I'm going to hell_, she couldn't help but repeat the mantra in her head as she sat up suddenly, her limbs frozen. Alarm bells and paranoia suddenly rang in her head. She watched his crystal eyes, the stark redness of the sheets colliding with its apparent innocence, the disappointment in them already poised and ready to go as he eyed her warily. "Why?...Right now?...Sure, uhm...let me just get ready, I'll meet you there...alright...see you..." The alarms rang louder with every word, Damon's eyes never leaving hers as he said them. _He knows! Of course he knows!_

"What...what is it?" she asked, eyes wide with panic.

"He just...he wants to hang out." He sat up with her, eyeing her. How the hell is he so calm right now?

"Damon...what if..."

"Don't worry, Elena. I'm not telling Stefan anything," he said with a scoff, getting off the bed without so much as a backward glance. "You'll be able to go back to him."

"Damon-" Elena began, her heart sinking further than she thought it could go. This was his power over her, making her feel like she's flying in heaven one moment, or crashing down the next.

"What? That's what you wanted right?"

"No, Damon..." Elena said, scooting down the bed. Arms encircling his waist from behind, she felt him soften a little under her touch. "That's ...that's not what I want."

He turned around in her arms to face her, his cool eyes ablaze, "Then what do you want?"

_What do you want?_ The million dollar question. But in a sense it wasn't really hard at all, because in the back of her mind there's only ever been one face imprinted there, always. And the fact that his kiss was still burning her lips helped to move things further along. There's only ever really been one answer. Her face broke into a sweet smile, "Is that even a question?"

His eyes were still hard, but she was beginning to see cracks on the surface, the tentative wall coming down. "What are you saying?"

"Damon, I - I really, really like you," she said. "I don't think that there was ever really a time when I didn't. Even with…with Stefan…I-I still, I can't imagine myself with anyone else."

He smiled, a true genuine smile, those rare ones that Elena always, always felt special to have witnessed. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, that...I'm gonna break it to Stef," Elena bit her lip, this was the part she hated.

"You are?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to be there?"

"I don't think that, that's a good idea. This is gonna be between him and me." She looked up at him, the dim light casting a greenish hue to his eyes. "Damon?"

And then he began laughing this beautiful laugh, if laughter can be considered beautiful and he kissed her all over. "Okay."

"Alright?"

"Okay." Then they just smiled at each other, reveling at the feeling of such mutual affection.

"Now go get ready! I have to go meet Jeremy," she said, picking up the keys from its place on the floor, lips quirking upwards from the memory. "Tell me what happens. Okay?"

Damon nodded just as Elena left the room with a somber smile.

* * *

><p>Damon couldn't seem to help the hop in each step, as he walked up the concrete steps to the Mystic Grill. But at the same time, there was that feeling stuck in his chest, fermenting there, polluting his happy thoughts. Guilt, that's what they called it. And he was saturated with it now, his steps growing heavier the moment he entered the place. He walked through the bobbing heads, and the upbeat jazz music blasting through the place, as he looked around for his brother, the brother who's girlfriend he just knowingly stole. It was an odd feeling, this mixture of utter bliss and guilt. He didn't know which way it was pulling him.<p>

"Damon!" His head snapped to his brother sitting at bar.

But what got his attention was the familiar brunette curls beside him, and the devilish smile, which only Katherine could manage. And that scared the shit out of him, her eyes seeming darker than they were before. "Why don't you sit down next to us, lover boy."

A jolt of electricity shot through him. Did she know? _Of course she did, she's fucking Katherine_. But Stefan was still smiling at him, so that's not a bad sign.

"Hey…"

"Have a drink," Stefan smiled handing him a shot.

He took it warily, before settling down at the cracked leather stool next to him. "So what brought this…occasion about?"

"What? I can't just have a drink with my brother anymore?"

"Never seemed to bother you before."

"Here you go again, spoiling the mood. Why so tense, Damon?"

"What are you talking about? I'm cool as a cucumber. The question is… what is _she_ doing here?"

"Play nice," Stefan said. "Come on, Damon. It's just like old times, us three."

"And why the hell would we want to remember that?"

Stefan took a deep breath. "This is exactly what I'm talking about."

"What?"

"Why did you come back to Mystic Falls, Damon?"

"To get drunk off my ass, without being hounded by my boss."

Stefan didn't flinch, repeating they question. "Why did you come to my birthday?"

"Because…" he glanced at Katherine, watching him with intent and something else..

"-Because you want us to be brothers again. Is that not right?" Stefan said a hint too loudly, the alcohol in his system becoming more apparent. "So let's be brothers, Damon! Let's put the past behind us. And just for tonight, let's be brothers again. You've been here what? Two weeks? And we've barely hung out!"

Damon laughed, "That's because you can't keep up." He grabbed another shot, but he couldn't help but notice Katherine's grin on the other side.

"To brothers," Katherine raised her glass.

"To brothers."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: So this fic was pretty much indefinitely on hiatus. I was just kind of losing interest and I'm a perfectionist, and I just wasn't feelin' it especially with all the plot bunnies in my head. I started this probably around summer before Sophomore Year and now it's Senior Year and it's like all these disjointed plot lines are yelling out at me, and like I said: I'm a perfectionist. But then I went through some things that helped me gain a better insight on certain characters and I will definitely try to trudge on for you guys. (: (even if it turns out terrible, through which I apologize in advance :P )<strong>


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